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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26307772">may this be love</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/salazarsslytherin/pseuds/salazarsslytherin'>salazarsslytherin</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crushes, Fluff, M/M, Pre-Queen (Band), Rating will go up, Smile (Band) Era, and brian falls in love with him in about 0.2 seconds, brian's in smile, freddie has the biggest crush on him, i don't know what to tell you, this is just fluff pure and simple, with smut to come later</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 10:14:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>20,166</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26307772</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/salazarsslytherin/pseuds/salazarsslytherin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Something in Brian’s face must give him away because Roger drops the shirt he’s been holding. </i> “No!”</p>
<p>
  <i>“What?” Brian demands.</i>
</p>
<p>“Freddie?  <i>Tim’s mate?"</i></p>
<p>In which Freddie has a giant crush on the guitarist in his friend's band and Brian has a giant crush on his bandmate's friend.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Brian May/Freddie Mercury</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>133</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Maycury_Week_2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>most of this is already written so i'll post up the next chapters quite soon but i wanted to get this one posted today as it's freddie's birthday &lt;3 &lt;3 </p>
<p>the first chapter is super short but the rest are longer i promise!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>Brian’s deep in thought and can feel a headache starting to threaten just behind his eyes when Roger suddenly shows up, dripping wet from the shower, in Brian’s doorway.</p>
<p>“You coming tonight?” he asks.</p>
<p>Brian wrinkles his nose at the now-soggy carpet under Roger’s feet before he registers the question.“Coming where?”</p>
<p>“It’s Freddie’s birthday—you know, Tim’s mate?From Ealing.He came to our gig last weekend.”</p>
<p>“Oh yeah,” Brian remembers.<em>Freddie</em>, that was it.Tim had brought him backstage after the show but he’d been pretty quiet and kept more or less to himself, though he had very shyly told Brian he thought their third song (one of Brian’s own, actually) had some of the best guitar work he’d ever heard.</p>
<p>Brian chucks his pen down and stretches, considering.“May as well,” he says.He’s been working on this essay all afternoon, he could do with a break.</p>
<p>“Leaving in an hour,” Roger tells him as he hurries away to his own room to get changed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>*</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When they met last weekend, Brian hadn’t paid much attention to him.Freddie had been an unusual looking boy with jet black hair and a great jacket but he’d barely said a word all night and he’d not really spent much time with Brian.</p>
<p>Tonight it’s like he’s a different person.He’s already well on his way to being completely hammered by the time Brian and Roger show up at his flat, which is crammed full of far too many people for such a tiny space. </p>
<p>“Brian!” he greets loudly, throwing out both arms and nearly knocking someone’s drink out of their hand as he hugs him.“And Roger, isn’t it?From Smile!”</p>
<p>He’s <em>glowing</em>, grinning, practically vibrating with energy.</p>
<p>“That’s right,” Brian laughs, flattered to be remembered.“Happy birthday,” he adds, handing Freddie the card he’d bought on the way over and quickly written in before they knocked.</p>
<p>Freddie stills at the sight of it.“Oh!” he lets out, pleased as anything.“You got me a card?”</p>
<p>“That’s kinda what you do at birthdays,” Brian winks at him.</p>
<p>Freddie swats his arm.“I know <em>that</em>, darling!You didn’t have to get <em>me</em> one.”He opens it while he’s talking, taking the time to read the front even though it’s just the classic balloons and have-a-great-day variety that he’s probably received a dozen of today.</p>
<p>“To Freddie,” he reads out.“Have a great birthday.From Brian.”</p>
<p>“From the bottom of my heart,” Brian deadpans.</p>
<p>Freddie snorts.“I was hoping there’d be a ticket to your next show in here, my dear.”</p>
<p>Brian’s pleased but tries not to let on too much.“We haven’t booked our next one yet,” he says.“If you want to come, though, you’re more than welcome, I’ll put you down as my guest.”</p>
<p>Freddie’s face lights up.“Would you?” he asks hopefully, before he manages to school his expression.“You don’t have to, of course, I’m sure you’ve got loads of other people who want to—”</p>
<p>“Don’t be silly,” Brian cuts him off.“You’re more than welcome.”</p>
<p>“You really are just fantastic, you know,” Freddie tells him earnestly.“I don’t—”</p>
<p>“Freddie!Where’s—oh, hey Bri,” Tim greets, appearing at Freddie’s shoulder and leaning past to give Brian a shoulder-barge-and-back-clap of greeting.“Roger here?”</p>
<p>“Somewhere,” Brian says, glancing around.Roger had slipped away at some point while he and Freddie were talking.</p>
<p>“Brian’s invited me to your next gig,” Freddie boasts to Tim.“Seeing as <em>you</em> never do.”</p>
<p>Tim laughs.“You know I don’t mind if you tag along.”</p>
<p>“No, no,” Freddie waves him off.“I’m <em>Brian’s</em> guest now.He promised.<em>Birthday</em> promised,” he adds, looking pointedly at Brian.</p>
<p>“I did,” Brian agrees. </p>
<p>“<em>And</em> he got me a card,” Freddie says, showing Tim.“You didn’t!”But he’s not offended.</p>
<p>“I got you a giant bottle of vodka!” Tim protests and Freddie’s eyes go wide.</p>
<p>“Oh yes!Where <em>did</em> that go?Brian, darling, I’m so sorry I haven't even offered you a drink yet!Do you drink vodka?”</p>
<p>“I’ll drink anything,” Brian says, following as Freddie leads the way through the house.</p>
<p>“My kind of man,” Freddie praises, opening cupboards in the kitchen until he finds clean glasses.</p>
<p>They don’t get a chance to talk much more after that because as soon as Freddie’s poured the drinks, some other of his friends show up and haul him off.Later, though, Brian notices that his birthday card has been displayed right in the centre of the mantelpiece and a while after that he overhears Freddie telling someone that ‘Yes the guitarist from Tim’s band, you know the one?He’s here somewhere, the gorgeous one with all the hair’ got it for him.</p>
<p>Brian ends up crashing on their sofa for the night because Roger disappears off to a girl’s house with her and, while he’s not as drunk as Freddie had been when he finally passed out, he doesn’t fancy trying to get home by himself.</p>
<p>He appreciates that they let him stay but the sofa is horribly uncomfortable, Brian can barely get to sleep on it, and he’s woken in the early hours by someone stumbling to the bathroom and puking their guts up.</p>
<p>Figuring he’s not going to sleep anyway, Brian rolls off the hideous sofa and pads into the kitchen to wash up a glass, filling it with water to take down to the bathroom.“Hello?” he calls softly, knocking on the door.“You alright in there?”</p>
<p>He has no idea who it is—quite a few people have stayed over, there were at least half a dozen who were planning on kipping in Freddie’s room—but he’s not overly surprised when a very miserable Freddie finally opens the door.</p>
<p>“Ugh, don’t look at me,” he says hoarsely, throwing an arm over his face.</p>
<p>Brian laughs.“I’ve seen plenty rougher than you, Fred,” he assures him, holding out the glass.“That’s the sign of a good birthday.”</p>
<p>“It’s <em>Freddie</em>,” Freddie corrects, accepting the glass and taking a careful sip.“I don’t like being twenty three.I want to go back to twenty two.”</p>
<p>“I’ll get right on building my time machine,” Brian laughs, leaning against the doorframe while Freddie sips more water.“Do you want some painkillers or anything?”</p>
<p>Freddie snorts.“If we had anything like that in here, it’s definitely been taken by someone by now,” he says, shuffling out of the bathroom.</p>
<p>Brian did see someone snorting crushed up pills earlier, come to think of it.Hopefully it was just paracetamol and not something more sinister, as he’d originally thought.</p>
<p>“Where are you sleeping?” Freddie asks him, blinking around.His eyes fall onto the sofa as they make it to the living room, which is empty but for Brian’s discarded blanket.</p>
<p>“There,” Brian says, pointing to it.</p>
<p>“Can I stay here with you?There are <em>people</em> in my room.”</p>
<p>Brian can’t really say no since this <em>is </em>Freddie’s flat, so he just shrugs and Freddie takes that as an invitation, crawling onto the sofa. </p>
<p>“Let me go behind,” Brian whispers, carefully clambering over him.“That way if you need the bathroom again you won’t wake me.”</p>
<p>Freddie doesn’t argue that point and Brian arranges the blanket over the both of them as best he can.Freddie doesn’t take up much room but he’s got bony elbows and a lot of hair (not that Brian can really throw stones) so it takes a few minutes of fidgeting before they find a way to lie that’s comfortable and settle down.</p>
<p>“Can I really come to your next gig?” Freddie asks quietly, after a few minutes of silence have passed.</p>
<p>“Course,” Brian yawns.“Come to as many as you like.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Smile’s next gig gets booked a few weeks after Freddie’s birthday.Brian’s seen him only once since, just in passing at Tim’s flat and Freddie had reminded him at the time that he wanted to come, but even so Brian hesitates to invite him.</p>
<p>What if Freddie was just being polite?Is it weird to call him after <em>weeks</em> to invite him?He might’ve forgotten all about asking by now and have no idea what Brian’s going on about and it’ll just be embarrassing for everyone.Technically he’s not even Brian’s friend, he’s Tim’s friend.They might both find it weird. </p>
<p>But he <em>had</em> said he wanted to come and they’d had a nice time chatting the morning after Freddie’s birthday, despite Freddie’s killer hangover, and Brian wants to hang out with him again. </p>
<p>He dials the number in a moment of decision before he can change his mind again.</p>
<p>It’s Freddie who picks up.“Hell<em>oo</em>!” he chirps happily, “this is Freddie.How can I help you, my dear?”</p>
<p>Brian can’t help but laugh at his telephone manner.“Hi Freddie, it’s Brian.Tim gave me your number, I hope you don’t mind?”</p>
<p>There’s a tiny intake of breath and then a moment of no talking but a lot of rushing air as, unbeknownst to Brian, Freddie pulls the phone away from his ear and does a happy little jig in his hallway.</p>
<p>He’s slightly out of breath when he replies.</p>
<p>“Oh, Brian!Hi!Of course I don’t mind at all darling,” he says quickly. </p>
<p>“Are you alright?”</p>
<p>“Oh yes,” Freddie assures him.“Just ah, just nearly dropped the phone just now, that’s all.To what do I owe the pleasure?”</p>
<p>“Well I’ve got a date for our next gig and remembered you said you wanted to come along,” Brian tells him, trying his utmost to sound casual.“Are you still interested?”</p>
<p>“Yes!” Freddie says at once, not even <em>trying</em> to hide his enthusiasm.“Will you really let me come?”</p>
<p>Brian laughs, relieved.“Of course I will!I’d love it if you came,” he tells him, grinning into the receiver. </p>
<p>“Oh, Brian, thank you!” Freddie gushes.“I was worried you were just being polite, to be honest, darling.”</p>
<p>Brian laughs again, relaxing a bit.“I was worried about the same thing,” he confesses.“That <em>you</em> were just being polite about wanting to see us play.”</p>
<p>“Oh no.I <em>love</em> watching you play, I always try to come when I can, you’re so wonderful.I can’t wait to hear you on guitar again.”</p>
<p>Brian’s practically glowing.“Amazing,” he says, grinning so wide he’s very glad nobody’s home to see it.“It’s on Saturday at nine, Imperial College.I’ll put you on the guest list.”</p>
<p>“Thanks Brian,” Freddie says, his grin audible in his voice.“I’ll meet you there.”</p>
<p>“Fantastic,” Brian says before a thought occurs.“Or, well…”</p>
<p>“What?” Freddie asks, worried. </p>
<p>“I mean, we’re going there anyway.We could always pick you up?You could help us set up, if you want,” Brian suggests, gnawing on his thumbnail.He doesn’t know why he’s so nervous about asking Freddie any of this, he’s just Tim’s friend.He doesn’t know why he’s said they’ll pick him up either because it’s a bit out of the way from their own flat but he likes the idea of it.He keeps remembering overhearing Freddie calling him <em>the gorgeous one</em> and it makes him warm through.</p>
<p>“Oh...would you really?” Freddie asks hopefully.“I’d love that, of course I’ll help you set up!”</p>
<p>“Great!”Brian’s surprised at how relieved he is and immediately wishes Saturday was sooner.“Okay, so.Great!Well that’s all sorted, then,” he says, wincing at his own lame response. </p>
<p>“I can’t wait,” Freddie says giddily. </p>
<p>Brian wishes he could think of something else to ask, some subject to talk about, but his brain won’t work fast enough.“Okay, well, I’d better go,” Brian says regretfully.</p>
<p>“Of course,” Freddie says at once, and Brian’s not sure if there’s a note of disappointment in his voice or if it’s just wishful thinking.“I’ll see you on Saturday.”</p>
<p>“See you then.”Brian hangs up and immediately buries his face in both hands.His heart is beating weirdly fast and he feels flushed which is completely ridiculous.It’s just Freddie, Tim’s friend.Possibly Brian’s friend.Maybe.Brian isn’t really sure if they count as friends yet.He himself has thought about Freddie’s birthday and the morning after countless times but Freddie may well have forgotten all about it—God knows he’d been drunk enough.But Brian <em>keeps</em> thinking back to it, about how with the cramped sofa it’d been easier, in the end, to just loop his arms around Freddie’s waist instead of trying to find somewhere comfortable to cram them.About how he’d been small in his arms but solid and warm and it had been <em>nice</em>.Perfect, really.Brian hadn’t even noticed how uncomfortable the sofa was once Freddie joined him. </p>
<p>And the next day it’d been just so <em>easy</em> to chat to him—Freddie’d nearly lost his mind when he found out Brian’s old band supported Hendrix years ago (<em>sort of</em> supported Hendrix, not that that had seemed to matter to Freddie) and he’d asked Brian about a hundred questions about his guitar when he found out it was home-made. </p>
<p>They like loads of the same music, Freddie loves going to local gigs and knows a bunch of bands that even Brian’s never heard of.And he’d been interested in Brian’s degree despite Tim telling Freddie not to ask as he’d never hear the end of it.And he wants to come and see them play.</p>
<p>It had been one of the nicest mornings Brian’s had in a while; no longer the shy little thing he’d been the first time Brian had met him, Freddie had been one of the easiest people in the world to talk to as soon as he had a bit of confidence.</p>
<p>Brian’s pretty sure they’re friends.He really hopes so. </p>
<p>The days <em>crawl</em> by.</p>
<p>Saturday sits like a shining beacon, eons away.Every class and rehearsal seems to last a week all by itself and Brian catches himself musing over things he could call Freddie about in the meantime, thinking up ways they could meet up before then.He very nearly spends his weekly food budget on the new Jimi record he knows Freddie’s dying to listen to and only just stops himself at the counter.If he could afford the bloody album he’d have bought it himself when it came out a few weeks ago but he’s more sensible than that—he doesn’t know what’s gotten hold of him. </p>
<p>He feels like he’s lived through an entire, difficult year by the time he wakes up on Saturday, late because he’d barely been able to sleep last night.</p>
<p>Thankfully he has the flat to himself so there’s nobody around to see him start to panic over what to wear several hours before they’re even due at the venue.They usually just go on in whatever they’re wearing but Brian wants to make sure he’s wearing something <em>decent</em>, something noticeable.Something that the guitarist in a great band would wear, the kind of thing that people would remember.Would maybe even compliment.</p>
<p>He can’t make up his mind and, unlike the rest of the week, the day is just slipping away from him so Brian’s still not made a decision by the time Roger comes home to get ready.</p>
<p>Brian tears out into the hall and grabs him before he can disappear into his bedroom.“Rog, <em>help me</em>,” he hisses, yanking him into his own room.</p>
<p>Roger’s startled and takes in Brian’s room with no small amount of surprise, eyeing the clothes strewn everywhere with raised eyebrows.</p>
<p>“I’m not helping you tidy this up,” he says at once.</p>
<p>Brian rolls his eyes.“Not <em>that</em>,” he says.“I don’t know what to wear tonight.”</p>
<p>Roger frowns.“For the gig?What’s wrong with what you’ve got on?”</p>
<p>“I can’t wear <em>this</em>,” Brian retorts like Roger’s thick. </p>
<p>“Why not?That’s what you usually wear.”</p>
<p>“<em>Because</em>,” Brian says, not really sure how to explain.“I want to look good.People are going to be there.You know—<em>girls</em> or whatever.And we’ll probably go out after.”</p>
<p>That gets Roger’s understanding and he steps further into the room, looking around.“Gotcha.Alright, so—I think the jeans you have on are fine, honestly.Not that t-shirt, then, if you wanna hook up with someone.”</p>
<p>Brian flushes, scowling at Roger.“Don’t be so crass.”</p>
<p>Roger snorts.“<em>Crass</em>?You <em>just</em> said you want to get dressed up ‘cause you’re looking for a shag.”</p>
<p>“I did <em>not</em> say that—”</p>
<p>“Do you want my help or not?”</p>
<p>Brian does, unfortunately.</p>
<p>Roger begins rooting through all the clothes Brian’s already discarded while Brian tries to find any piece of fabric left unturned in the hopes that the perfect outfit is in here somewhere.</p>
<p>“So…” Roger says casually as he picks up a shirt and shakes it out to look at it.“Someone specific you’ve got your eye on?”</p>
<p>“No,” Brian says, and he can hear in his own voice how defensive he sounds.</p>
<p>Roger laughs.“Fuck, there <em>is</em>!I’m not stupid, Bri.I’ve never seen you get freaked out over clothes before.”</p>
<p>“We’re in a <em>band</em>,” Brian counters.“We have to make sure we look good or nobody’s going to notice us, we can’t just look like everyone else, it’s supposed to be a <em>show</em>.”</p>
<p>“You sound just like Freddie,” Roger says, rolling his eyes.“That was all he’d talk to me about at his par—what?”</p>
<p>Something in Brian’s face must give him away because Roger drops the shirt he’s been holding.</p>
<p>“No!”</p>
<p>“<em>What</em>?” Brian demands.</p>
<p>“<em>Freddie</em>?Tim’s mate?Since when are you <em>queer</em>?Not that I have a problem,” Roger adds hastily, “just surprised is all—”</p>
<p>“Oh, shut up,” Brian says quickly.“It’s nothing like that.”He can feel his face burning though and Roger’s grinning at him like the cat that got the canary.</p>
<p>“Oh my <em>God</em>,” he says loudly.“You’re actually blushing!”</p>
<p>“Shut up!Fucking hell, this is bad enough without you being all <em>Roger</em> about it,” Brian groans, sitting down heavily on his bed.</p>
<p>“Did you fool around at the party?” Roger asks, clothes forgotten now that there could be gossip going. </p>
<p>“No!”</p>
<p>“Tim said you guys spent the night together—”</p>
<p>“On the <em>sofa</em>!Nothing happened, <em>obviously</em> nothing happened.We were just sleeping together—we didn’t <em>sleep together</em>, we were just sleeping in the same place.Together.”Brian can hear how ridiculous he sounds and very much regrets ever asking for Roger’s help; he’s far too observant.</p>
<p>“Alright, I believe you,” Roger says, putting his hands up.“Just slept together all cuddled up, nice and cosy—”</p>
<p>“<em>Roger</em>!”Brian throws a pillow at him and Roger ducks out of the way, laughing.</p>
<p>“Alright, alright, sorry!So do you like...want something to happen, then?” Roger asks seriously. </p>
<p>Brian groans and flops back so he’s lying down.“I don’t <em>know</em>!I want to just...just see what happens.He’s nice to talk to.”</p>
<p>“‘Nice to talk to’,” Roger repeats flatly.“What a turn on.We <em>definitely</em> need to find you a good outfit because your flirting is <em>not</em> going to get the job done without help.”</p>
<p>“I’m not going to <em>flirt</em> with him.”</p>
<p>“Why not?” Roger shrugs, turning back to the clothes with renewed determination.“I’m pretty sure he’s gay.And I wasn’t gonna tell you this because I didn’t want to make you all smug but I think he has a bit of a thing for you.He bragged to me like four separate times about that damn card you got him.”</p>
<p>Brian sits up.“Really?”</p>
<p>“Yes.Does this still fit you?” Roger asks, holding up a black shirt.</p>
<p>“It’s a bit small.”</p>
<p>“Then why do you still have it?” Roger asks, exasperated.“Actually, can I have it?”</p>
<p>“What for?”</p>
<p>“Sell it,” Roger says with a shrug.“Freddie has one of those stalls in Kensington, he said I could do a few shifts with him to make some extra cash if I wanted.Course he was blind drunk at the time, so I dunno if he’ll remember.”</p>
<p>For a single, irrational moment Brian’s jealous but he manages to rein it in before it can wash through him.Besides, if Roger and Freddie work together, Brian can go and visit Roger like the good, good friend he is.“Go for it.Was he actually <em>bragging</em>?So he was pleased, then?”</p>
<p>“Yes he came up to me and he said, ‘Your mate Brian is <em>so</em> sexy I want him to fuck me sideways, just <em>look</em> at this card he got me!’” Roger says.</p>
<p>Brian’s eyes go wide.“Did he—”</p>
<p>“<em>No</em>, bloody hell.But he <em>was </em>showing off about it, he was over the moon.Mind, he could’ve been like that about all the cards, I dunno.He only spoke to me about yours.”</p>
<p>And Brian overheard him telling someone else about it, as well.He doesn’t want to think about it, it makes his stomach tremble and he feels sick with nerves but he can’t <em>help</em> thinking about it because it excites him at the same time. </p>
<p>“What about this?” Roger suggests, holding up one of Brian’s t-shirts.He’s worn it on stage before, several times, but Brian shakes his head.</p>
<p>“It’s too...<em>boring</em>,” he says, frustrated.“Why are all my clothes <em>boring</em>?”</p>
<p>“Brian,” Roger says seriously, “I hate to tell you this, but...it’s because <em>you’re</em> boring.You study science.”</p>
<p>“<em>You</em> study science!” Brian shoots back.</p>
<p>“Yeah but I don’t <em>care</em> about science,” Roger counters.“You’re <em>into</em> science.It’s fine, I’m sure Freddie loves a nerdy type...you’d best hope so, anyway,” he adds, not very reassuringly, with a pointed look at all the study materials sprawled over Brian’s desk.“To be honest I thought he was a bit of a quiet type when we first met, he didn’t say much, did he?But did you see him doing vodka shots the other weekend?Fucking hell, he can drink more than <em>me</em>.”</p>
<p>“He could barely stand by the end of the night,” Brian points out. </p>
<p>“Exactly,” Roger says proudly, then pauses and looks back at Brian.“We <em>really</em> need to find a good outfit for you, Bri.Don’t talk to him about space dust, will you?”</p>
<p>Brian scowls at him.“<em>Actually</em> Freddie was very interested in my thesis.”</p>
<p>Roger stops and turns to look at him with a disbelieving frown.“I ‘spect he was being polite, Bri.”</p>
<p>“He <em>wasn’t</em>,” Brian insists, quite certain of it now he’s trying to prove Roger wrong despite having worried about this for weeks.</p>
<p>Roger’s frown grows to almost comical proportions before it suddenly smoothes out.“Well, maybe you’ll have your work cut out, then,” he suggests, thoughtfully eyeing up more shirts.“He must want a shag off you if he was faking interest in astronomy for you.”</p>
<p>“He wasn’t <em>faking</em> it,” Brian says, then throws his other pillow at Roger.“And don’t <em>say</em> that, I’ve already <em>said</em> I don’t know what’ll happen.I don’t know if—I’ve never even...<em>you know</em>, with a bloke before.It’ll probably be weird.”</p>
<p>“Probably,” Roger agrees, and Brian wishes he had another pillow until he adds, “but to be honest, it’s weird with a girl at first as well.Still good, though.”</p>
<p>Which...is true, Brian hadn’t really thought about it like that.</p>
<p>“Fuck, you’re making me nervous,” Brian says, folding his hands over his stomach, wishing he wouldn’t feel so sick.“Just help me find something to wear, will you?”</p>
<p>Roger, thankfully, dedicates himself to the task until they eventually come up with a vintage white shirt, left unbuttoned to Brian’s navel, and an old military blazer Brian had forgotten he even owned. </p>
<p>Roger steps back to admire his handwork and whistles.“You look like a sexy pirate,” he says proudly.</p>
<p>Brian glares at him.“That’s not really the look I’m going for, Rog.”</p>
<p>“Well, with that hair…”</p>
<p>Brian’s looking around for something else to throw at him when a horn beeps from outside and he swears.“Oh fuck, they’re here already!”</p>
<p>“Aww shit, I didn’t even get time to shower!” Roger complains.“You better get laid after all this effort, Brian.”</p>
<p>“I’m <em>not</em> going to get laid tonight, will you shut up,” Brian growls at him as he grabs his guitar and follows Roger down the stairs. </p>
<p>“Speak for yourself,” Roger laughs over his shoulder, collecting drumsticks and sticking them in his back pocket. </p>
<p>Brian gives him a firm but not unfriendly shove between the shoulder-blades and Roger’s still laughing when they clamber awkwardly into the van, trying hard to fit in around all their equipment.</p>
<p>“What’s so funny?” Tim asks as he slams the door shut, just barely missing Roger’s toes, and their roadie John revs the engine as the van groans its way off the curb and back onto the road.</p>
<p>Brian shoots Roger a warning look. </p>
<p>“Oh, just Brian assuring me he’s not going to get laid tonight,” Roger relates.</p>
<p>Tim and John both snort good-naturedly, though Tim eyes Brian’s outfit when he notices it.“You <em>are</em> all dressed up, are you sure?”</p>
<p>Brian sighs and makes a promise to himself that he’ll save enough money to buy a car so he can drive himself to these things.And pick up Freddie on the way.</p>
<p>He’s so nervous by the time they pull up outside Freddie’s flat that he’s worried he’s going to sweat through the damn shirt which is just about the least sexy thing he could possibly do, and then the door’s sliding open again and Freddie’s stood there, beaming delightedly at the band, and Brian relaxes suddenly, just happy to see him.</p>
<p>“Hey Fred,” he greets, reaching out to lend a hand so Freddie can climb inside.</p>
<p>“It’s Freddie,” Freddie says by rote, perching carefully on the edge of a drum.“Hello darlings!This is so exciting, thanks for picking me up!”</p>
<p>He’s glowing with it, grinning so widely at Brian that Brian can’t help but grin back.“Sorry we don’t have a fancier ride,” he apologises, slapping the nearest part of the van he can reach. </p>
<p>“Oi!” John calls back, “at least you <em>have</em> a ride!Unless you fancy carrying all this shit by yourselves.”</p>
<p>“Definitely not,” Roger says loudly.“Freddie, you think you can carry a bass drum?”</p>
<p>“Uh…” Freddie says uncertainly, making a face.“I could probably carry your drum<em>stick</em> for you, if you like, my dear.”</p>
<p>“<em>Oh</em>!” Tim chimes in, giving Freddie a nudge.“Would you, now?”</p>
<p>Even in the dim light Brian can see Freddie turn bright red.“Not like <em>that</em>!”</p>
<p>The rest of them all roar with laughter while Freddie buries his face in his hands, shaking his head, and Brian can feel his own face heating up a bit as he gives Freddie a commiserating pat on the back.</p>
<p>“Not to worry, Freddie,” Tim tells him, grinning.“Brian’s not getting laid tonight, either.”</p>
<p>Freddie’s head whips around to look at Brian so fast it nearly startles him. </p>
<p>“Oh?”</p>
<p>Brian silently curses Tim, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.“We were just...joking around,” he explains, willing his face to remain cool. </p>
<p>“But he <em>is</em> all dressed up,” Tim points out. </p>
<p>“It’s stage clothes,” Roger puts in for him, and Brian finds himself feeling much more charitable toward him all of a sudden.</p>
<p>“I think you look fantastic,” Freddie says, leaning forward to speak directly to Brian.“It’s exactly what you should do, wear things that people will <em>notice</em>, that set you apart a bit.It’s a <em>show</em> you’re doing, after all.You need a costume.”</p>
<p>“I’ll pass,” Tim says with a shrug.“I prefer a t-shirt.”</p>
<p>Brian catches Freddie’s eye and rolls his eyes at the rest of them and he and Freddie share a small, secret grin that sends Brian straight to cloud nine.</p>
<p>It’s hard to have a conversation in the back of a loud, bumpy van while the others all shout excitedly to each other about tonight’s gig, but Brian manages to gather that Freddie’s hangover lasted several days (Brian’s not surprised at all, having seen the state of him) and he’s fobbing off a project he has due to be here tonight.</p>
<p>Brian laughs at that.“What an irresponsible student you are,” he teases and Freddie ducks his head.</p>
<p>“Well, I simply couldn’t miss this,” he tells Brian, shyly biting his lip when he looks up.“Yours is one of the best bands around right now, there’s nobody out there like you.”</p>
<p>Brian preens a little bit, though his bubble is swiftly burst when Tim turns around.</p>
<p>“Freddie, you little suck up,” he laughs, throwing a balled up bit of rubbish at him.“You know you can come along to our gigs whenever you want, you don’t have to shower Brian in compliments to get a ticket.”</p>
<p>Freddie scrambles for the rubbish and chucks it right back at Tim.“Actually I was complimenting the <em>band</em>, not just Brian.He <em>is</em> the most talented of you all, though.No offence, Roger,” he adds swiftly.</p>
<p>Roger only laughs, unbothered.“That’s alright, mate, it’s not you I’m trying to impress,” he says good-naturedly. </p>
<p>Brian tries not to let what Freddie said go straight to his head, but it’s difficult. </p>
<p>They get separated when they arrive at the venue, Brian falling into their usual pre-gig routine and helping tote equipment back and forth, everyone scrambling to set up in the tiny slot of time they have.He has no idea where Freddie gets to during all of it—he catches glimpses of him now and then, occasionally helping position a wire, but he’s too busy to seek him out until a few minutes before they’re due to go on-stage and they manage to all grab a moment in the dressing room to down a drink.</p>
<p>“Where are you going to stand?” Brian asks, letting himself oh-so-casually drift to Freddie’s side and handing him a beer.He already has his guitar on so all he has to do is walk out there and plug in, he can take a few minutes now.</p>
<p>“Oh, thanks—probably over by the bar,” Freddie says, taking the drink.“I can’t see otherwise, I swear all the tallest people in the <em>world</em> always decide to stand right at the front!”</p>
<p>“Whoops, I’m probably guilty of that myself,” Brian confesses with a grin.“You can’t stand at the bar, though, don’t be ridiculous.If you don’t want to be down at the front you can stand in the wings, if you want?There’s not much to it, the stage is only tiny, but you’ll probably have a better view than from the bar.”</p>
<p>Freddie just stares at him.“Are...are you sure?I don’t want to be a bother…”</p>
<p>“You’re not a bother at all!Besides, you’re here as my guest, you can stand wherever the hell you like.If you walk out with us I’ll show you the best place,” Brian assures him, quickly trying to drink his own beer because everyone else is getting ready to head to the stage.</p>
<p>Brian’s only got his usual amount of pre-show nerves as they make their way down the corridor, right up until he points Freddie to where he can stand and guides him in place with a hand on his shoulder, when it suddenly occurs to him that Freddie is going to be <em>right there</em> watching him play and he feels <em>sick</em> with it.</p>
<p>Freddie’s nearly bouncing with giddy excitement, briefly clutching Brian’s arm to wish him good luck before Brian slips out onto the stage and tries not to think about the way Freddie’s hand felt, warm and tight even through the material of Brian’s jacket, because he has to play, and for <em>fuck</em> sake he has to play well.</p>
<p>Thankfully they always open with an explosion of noise from his guitar so it’s barely a half-second before Brian’s fingers are moving on the fretboard and he’s strumming away and it’s still second nature, even with Freddie watching.In fact, <em>especially</em> with Freddie watching.Within the space of the first song, the nerves melt away into intense excitement that peaks into pure adrenaline when Brian happens to turn to the side and catch sight of Freddie happily screaming his <em>head</em> off, silent under the band, and he feels strangely powerful.He can do this, he was fucking <em>born</em> to do this, to play <em>this</em> guitar, which might as well be an extension of himself for how natural it is to play, how easy it comes to him.</p>
<p>They’re on top form; Roger’s drums seem ten times louder than usual, Tim’s perfectly in tune, the crowd’s excited.Brian doesn’t feel like he could play a note wrong, it’s all too good.It must be one of the best shows they’ve ever played, at least it feels like it from on-stage and Brian couldn’t care less right then what the rest of the place thinks—Freddie’s flushed from leaping around, Brian can’t help but keep turning to look at him, matching his huge grin with one of his own. </p>
<p>The crowd gives them such a loud cheer at the end it rings in Brian’s ears, louder than their music, and their stamping feet make the tiny stage rattle as they pound into one final song, too tempted by the enthusiasm. </p>
<p>He’s exhausted by the time they’re done, running on adrenaline and soaked through with sweat but when he finally ducks off stage Freddie doesn’t hesitate before he throws his arms around him, giving him a tight hug.</p>
<p>Brian’s startled, still clutching his guitar, but quickly grabs him back, laughing delightedly in his ear.</p>
<p>“You were fantastic, darling!Amazing!That’s the best show of yours I’ve ever seen!” Freddie’s yelling, bright-eyed and flushed when he pulls away, Roger and Tim swiftly on Brian’s heels and just as buzzed.</p>
<p>Freddie, Brian notices, doesn’t hug either of them, though he does offer them both massive grins and pats Tim on the shoulder. </p>
<p>“That’s the best we’ve ever played,” Roger’s saying giddily, staggering past everyone who’s somehow ended up backstage, making a beeline for the beers in the tiny dressing room. </p>
<p>“It really was,” Freddie tells him, swept along with them by Brian’s hand on his arm and accepting a drink as he’s offered one. “If you just bought some lights and had them move around a bit, coloured ones, maybe, and dressed up—”</p>
<p>“Oh God, don’t start in on that again,” Tim laughs, giving Freddie a playful shove.“All you ever do is criticise this band!”</p>
<p>“I’m not criticising,” Freddie says hurriedly, glancing between all of them, his gaze lingering on Brian.“Really I’m not.”</p>
<p>Brian grins at him.“I know, Fred.”</p>
<p>“<em>Freddie</em>.”</p>
<p>“I think you’re right about the lights,” Brian adds thoughtfully, and Freddie perks up.“I never thought about coloured ones though.Do you think—”</p>
<p>“Chat at the pub!” Roger interrupts suddenly.“Place is clearing out, we need to get the equipment packed up.Freddie can you help me with the drums?”</p>
<p>“Rog!He’s our guest, you can’t—”</p>
<p>“Oh, I don’t mind!” Freddie assures them, draining his drink.“Are you going to the pub after?” he asks casually.</p>
<p>Roger grins at him and winks at Brian over Freddie’s shoulder when he turns away.“Yep, you wanna come?”</p>
<p>“Well, if you don’t mind…”</p>
<p>“Course we don’t,” Roger tells him, leading him back toward the stage.“Nice to have someone around who likes the band.Brian’s pretty good, isn’t he?”</p>
<p>Freddie’s face changes, gets softer, and he blushes a bit.“Oh yes, he’s just marvellous.I can’t believe he built that guitar!He really is fantastically clever, isn’t he?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, he’s a bit of a nerd,” Roger says, less impressed by Brian before remembering that he’s trying to be his wingman.“In a good way, obviously.He’s a cool guy.He said you guys were chatting about his thesis—bet he bored you to tears, didn’t he?”</p>
<p>“Not at all!” Freddie insists, pausing before the drum kit and looking at it like Roger looks at maths problems.</p>
<p>Roger snorts when he catches sight of the look.“Just carry the things I give you,” he tells him, setting about dismantling it.“‘S’alright, I know all that space dust stuff is boring as hell.I just sort of zone him out,” Roger says, offering Freddie a conspiratorial grin.</p>
<p>“It seems like it <em>would</em> be boring but it really wasn’t, not when he explained it all,” Freddie says, holding his arms out for a drum and gasping.“Fucking hell!That’s heavier than it looks.”</p>
<p>Roger laughs.“I won’t give you two at a time, then,” he says generously.“Do you wanna take that one out to the van?I think John and the others have done all the amps now,” he adds, looking around the stage.“Get them to come and help.”</p>
<p>Thankfully, when Freddie staggers out to the van with the drum, John leaps forward to take it from him and several other people walk past him to go and help Roger without him having to say a word, friends of the band who have gathered together now that the gig’s over in preparation for a night of heavy drinking.</p>
<p>Together, the lot of them make short work of packing the van up with all the equipment and then cramming themselves in, leaving Freddie squished up against someone he’s never met before for a rather awkward, though blessedly short, journey to the pub.</p>
<p>Brian catches him before they even make it to the door, walking in with him.“Can I get you a drink?” he calls over the dim roar of the pub once they’re inside.</p>
<p>“Oh, let me buy it—”</p>
<p>“Don’t be silly,” Brian talks over him, making his way to the bar with Freddie on his heels.“We got paid for playing tonight, let me get you a drink.”</p>
<p>“Well, alright then,” Freddie allows, pleased.“I’ll have whatever you’re having.”</p>
<p>Brian orders two pints of Guinness and turns to Freddie while the bartender pours them, grinning slyly.“Maybe avoid the shots tonight?” he teases.</p>
<p>Freddie claps a hand over his eyes.“Don’t remind me,” he groans. </p>
<p>“Hey now, it wouldn’t be a very good birthday if you didn’t end the night throwing your guts up in the bathroom,” Brian says fairly.</p>
<p>Freddie only shakes his head.“I’m so embarrassed you saw me like that, darling.You were ever so kind.”</p>
<p>Brian snorts.“I live with Roger, I can assure you I’ve seen far worse.At least you kept your clothes on,” he adds without thinking, feeling the words root quickly in his chest in an aborted attempt to keep them in, suddenly flustered.</p>
<p>Freddie chokes, blushing terrifically, and studiously does not look at Brian as he accepts one of the pint glasses from the barman.</p>
<p>“<em>That</em> time,” he replies, sounding a bit strained.“Who knows what a few more shots would’ve done to me.”</p>
<p>Brian valiantly tries not to think about it.He feels jittery already, hot through at the idea of Freddie stripping out of his clothes, all that skin, maybe tucked against him on the sofa again.Brian’s hand resting on his hip.The line of his back curved beautifully against Brian’s chest.</p>
<p><em>Fuck</em>.</p>
<p>“Next birthday, eh?” Brian says on a sudden rush of courage, peering at Freddie over the rim of his own glass as he takes an innocent sip.</p>
<p>Freddie doesn’t quite know what to make of that, flushed pink across nose and cheekbones and busying himself with his beer just as Roger comes flying into them, spilling Guiness as he yanks both of their shoulders.</p>
<p>“Come on, you two,” he chirps, jerking his head back.“We’ve got a booth over there.If you don’t come and claim seats now I’m giving them up to the next girl who walks by so I can chat her up.”</p>
<p>Brian rolls his eyes.“But <em>where</em> will you find a girl to meet your high standards?” he asks sardonically as he and Freddie follow Roger back to the booth, which is already looking a bit over-crowded even without them.</p>
<p>Brian crams himself onto the end, then crams himself in a bit more so there’s room for Freddie to perch on the edge of the seat, their thighs pressed close together, which they both try and fail to ignore.</p>
<p>The others are all already engrossed in conversation so Brian happily turns to Freddie, opening his mouth to ask what he <em>really </em>thought of the show, when Freddie beats him to it.</p>
<p>“You were so wonderful out there, darling!” he gushes immediately, his eyes wide and bright as he stares imploringly at Brian.“You really are one of the best bands around at the moment and I <em>swear</em> I’m not just saying that!”</p>
<p>He’s so sincere Brian doesn’t doubt him for a second and can feel himself grinning foolishly, immeasurably pleased.</p>
<p>“And <em>you’re</em> the most talented, of course,” Freddie continues, barely pausing for breath, “with that guitar of yours.I <em>still</em> can’t believe you made that yourself, you’re terribly clever.”</p>
<p>Brian laughs, waving him off.“Well I can’t sew buttons on for the life of me and <em>that’s</em> probably a more useful skill.”</p>
<p>Freddie grins.“Any buttons you need sewing, darling, you just let me know!”</p>
<p>“Brilliant,” Brian says, “I’ve got a big bag of shirts, I’ll drop it round.Do you darn socks as well?”</p>
<p>Freddie snorts and slaps his shoulder and Brian’s heart skips a triad of beats. </p>
<p>“Tell me about the time you met Jimi again,” Freddie says dreamily, dropping his hand and leaning in closer.</p>
<p>“I already told you everything,” Brian laughs, because, in all the short time he’s known Freddie so far, he’s been asked this at least four times.</p>
<p>“Tell me again!” Freddie demands.“I’ll buy your next beer.You were backstage…?” he prompts, like a child wanting a story from his parent.</p>
<p>Brian can’t resist him, the way he has his chin in his hand and his eyes are so dark and beautiful, curious and playful and so quietly, fiercely intelligent even though Freddie doesn’t believe it of himself.</p>
<p>“So we were backstage,” Brian confirms indulgently, practically <em>glowing</em> under the weight of Freddie’s attention.Everything else in the pub is promptly forgotten as he launches into the memory for him, quietly thinking that he’d be quite content to share this story a thousand times over as long as Freddie would keep looking at him like that.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He buys the Hendrix album.</p>
<p>It’s all wrapped in brown paper—Brian’s heard the backlash about the cover but he’s yet to actually see it—and even though he <em>did</em> buy it for himself, he loves Hendrix, he’s wanted this album since it first came out last month...it sort of feels like a gift.</p>
<p>Even more so when the first thing Brian does upon arriving back to his flat isn’t to tear it open and put it on, but to call Freddie.</p>
<p>He literally gasps when Brian tells him what he’s currently holding in his hands.</p>
<p>“Oh, Brian!Do you—could I—do you mind if I—?”</p>
<p>Brian saves him.“Do you want to come round and listen?”</p>
<p>Freddie sucks in his breath.“Do you mind?”</p>
<p>“Of course not!” Brian laughs, already feeling giddy with excitement.“That’s why I called.”</p>
<p>“I can be there in half an hour!” Freddie says at once.“Will you be home?”</p>
<p>Brian grins.“Yep,” he assures him.“<em>This</em> is my only plan for today.”</p>
<p>Freddie doesn’t even waste time saying goodbye; he just hangs up and Brian carefully hugs the album to his chest for a few seconds, wanting to <em>squeeze</em> as anticipation pours through him but he refrains.It wouldn’t do to call Freddie over here only for the record to get broken in the meantime.Particularly as it’s very nearly all the money Brian had left this month.He has no idea how he’s going to afford food for the next few weeks but he’s sure he’ll work it out; this is worth it. </p>
<p>Especially once Freddie knocks on the door and comes barrelling through, breathless and nearly trembling with excitement.</p>
<p>“Bloody hell, Fred, did you <em>run</em> here?” Brian chuckles as he stands aside to avoid getting flattened.</p>
<p>“Fred<em>die</em>,” Freddie corrects distractedly, gazing at the telling square package.His eyes widen.“Haven’t you listened yet, darling?”</p>
<p>“No,” Brian says, shutting the door and hoping his smile doesn’t look as goofy as it feels.“I was waiting for you.”</p>
<p>Freddie startles a bit at that.“For <em>me</em>?” he repeats, stunned and so obviously touched.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Brian says, quickly grabbing the record and holding it out to him, feeling a bit like he’s showing his hand in admitting that but the look on Freddie’s face won’t allow him to regret it.“Open it.”</p>
<p>Freddie puts his hands up and quickly shakes his head.“<em>You</em> open it, Bri!You bought it, you wonderful man!”</p>
<p>“Go on,” Brian encourages, pushing it at him.“I wanna listen to it.”</p>
<p>And Freddie, who doesn’t want to wait a second longer than necessary before listening to it either, accepts the record and carefully prises the paper off. </p>
<p>If Brian needed any proof that Freddie is as gay as they come, the way he doesn’t even pause to glance at the naked women on the cover is a dead giveaway.He just flips it open and pauses for a few moments, like he can’t believe what he’s holding in his hands, before his head jerks up.</p>
<p>“Record player?”</p>
<p>“Bedroom.”</p>
<p>Brian turns to lead him there and they’re just going to listen to a record, it’s not like he’s picked Freddie up for a one night stand, but his heart picks up as he steps through the doorway, very aware that they’re alone and this is his <em>bedroom</em>.</p>
<p>He wishes he’d had the forethought to tidy it up a bit before Freddie came round, but it can’t be helped.</p>
<p>Freddie doesn’t seem to notice the cannibalised amps, circuit boards, physics notes, textbooks, or old laundry that litters the room anyway, instead making a beeline for Brian’s trusty old Dansette and setting the first disc in place.</p>
<p>“Ready?” he asks Brian, pink with excitement, his hand shivering where he’s holding the needle just over the vinyl.</p>
<p>Brian has a moment of panic where he wonders if sitting on the bed is making an implication of some kind and abruptly sits on the floor instead, leaning against his bed.</p>
<p>“Ready,” he says.</p>
<p>Freddie lowers the needle and joins him on the floor, which feels somehow more intimate than sitting side by side on the bed might have.</p>
<p>They’re silent as they listen.Freddie looks as though he’s in a trance, his gaze somewhere far away, his lips parted.</p>
<p>For over an hour, neither of them say a single word. </p>
<p>Freddie moves to lie down at some point, his arms out on the floor, an expression of what Brian can only describe as ecstasy on his face.</p>
<p>Brian’s fingers move restlessly against his thigh, picking out chord structures and strumming patterns as he listens.After he gets up to switch to disc two, he lays beside Freddie on the floor, gazing up at his peeling bedroom ceiling.</p>
<p>He wishes, for the first time in his life, that he had a cigarette.He’d take a drag and offer it to Freddie, and they’d share the taste of smoke and each other while <em>1983</em> plays out, and still not say a word because they don’t need to.</p>
<p>Brian’s never felt so much understanding with another person in his life.They don’t have to speak yet; they <em>know</em>.He knows Freddie’s drinking it in, absorbing the music and Jimi’s magic.He knows neither of them will break this now sacred silence until the record stops and the spell is broken.</p>
<p>When the last strains of <em>Voodoo Child (Slight Return)</em> fade out, neither of them move.The room is filled with the crackling of the player and their steady breathing until Freddie says, hoarsely, “Play it again” and Brian does.</p>
<p>When he lays back down, he turns his head to look at Freddie and finds Freddie looking back at him, still that same rapt expression on his face, except now it’s directed at <em>Brian</em>.Brian, whose body is moving almost without thought, rolling onto his side and leaning in.</p>
<p>He pauses there and he can <em>feel</em> Freddie holding his breath, staring at him wide-eyed while the record player crackles and the speakers fizz with <em>And The Gods Made Love</em>, the sound bouncing and echoing around the room, through Brian’s skull, vibrating in the space between them which is rapidly getting smaller.</p>
<p>The music ends and it’s quiet for half a dozen heartbeats.</p>
<p>Then Jimi sings.Freddie closes his eyes.</p>
<p>And Brian kisses him.</p>
<p>Freddie reacts immediately, his mouth opening as he pulls in a sharp breath, one hand coming up to grip Brian’s shoulder.His lips are soft, softer than a girl’s, and it feels better even though Brian’s heart’s in his throat.Maybe <em>because</em> his heart’s in his throat.He’s never cared so much about a kiss before in his life and it’s only chaste.</p>
<p>He’s smiling when he pulls away, already breathless, grinning like a fool, and Freddie’s eyes are open again and wide, wide, wide. </p>
<p>“Darling,” he says, catching his breath himself, “I—”But whatever he was going to say is lost as he leans in to return the kiss, making a little noise against Brian’s mouth that seizes every instinct in him and completely erases all other thought.</p>
<p>He takes Freddie’s chin in his hand and opens his mouth, gently sliding his tongue forward.The moment it touches Freddie’s Brian’s cock surges to life and he gasps as blood rushes to his crotch, pulling Freddie closer, kissing him harder, and valiantly hoping Freddie doesn’t mind the erection that’s pressing insistently against his thigh because no way in hell is it going anywhere if they keep doing this.</p>
<p>If the way Freddie shoves his own hips and—Brian’s heart jumps—matching erection forward is any indication, he doesn’t mind at all.</p>
<p>“Oh fuck,” he does manage to gasp, tearing himself away for a moment.His face is all flushed and his lips are redder than ever and Brian tries to get a subtle hand between them so he can push his palm against his own cock through his jeans.</p>
<p>“Good ‘fuck’?” he questions.</p>
<p>“<em>So</em> good,” Freddie says quickly, squeezing Brian’s arms.Jimi’s still playing in the background and it’s so perfect, it couldn’t be more perfect.Even though they’re on the floor of Brian’s shitty bedroom in his shitty flat and there’s stuff everywhere and he didn’t tidy up or make the bed.He’s here with Freddie, <em>kissing Freddie</em>, and Jimi’s playing and it’s perfect. </p>
<p>“Wanna do it again?” Brian asks, quite keen to <em>never</em> stop, actually.</p>
<p>Freddie’s reply is another kiss, more insistent than before, scrambling to get as close as possible until Brian gets up the courage to haul Freddie over onto him as he rolls onto his back.</p>
<p>“Okay?” he asks breathily.</p>
<p>Freddie nods, kissing him again, and Brian slides both hands down to rest on his arse, then pulls Freddie into <em>just</em> the right position straddling his thigh so he can rub his still jean-clad cock oh-so-nicely against him and he breaks their kiss as he tips his head back with a groan.</p>
<p>“This okay?” he asks again, dimly aware that this is probably too much, too fast, but he can’t bring himself to care.He just wants to get off, that’s all his brain will think about, he’ll worry about the rest later.</p>
<p>“Yes, <em>yes</em>, darling, keep doing that,” Freddie gets out, sounding hoarse and as wildly turned on as Brian feels.</p>
<p>Not pausing to ask again, Brian squeezes Freddie’s arse in his hands, pulling him hard into his hips to grind against him, grinning to himself as Freddie cries out, their mouths clashing messily as he nearly headbutts Brian in the face with the force of it.</p>
<p>He’s ever so sweetly incapacitated by the whole thing, his head lolling a bit as he grips Brian’s shirt and lets Brian roll his hips for him, neither of them even bothering with kissing any more, both just chasing the same thing.</p>
<p>“Push down,” Brian tells him, squeezing his eyes closed and arching up at the same time.“Fuck, <em>fuck</em>, Freddie—”</p>
<p>Freddie keens loudly before he starts suddenly.“Fuck, I need to—I can’t—these trousers—”But he can’t help himself, his knees suddenly going tight around Brian’s hips, grinding down into him <em>hard</em> and nearly sobbing as he comes, hips stuttering and thighs trembling as Brian continues to push up against him, tipping his head back, his neck straining.</p>
<p>He can’t believe Freddie just fucking <em>came</em>, in his trousers, right on top of him—Brian’s had a decent amount of sex but this is the hottest fucking thing he’s ever done and neither of them have even taken their clothes off.</p>
<p>Then Freddie nearly <em>kills</em> him by sticking a hand down the front of his jeans and briefs, taking his cock firmly in his warm hand, squeezing, and Brian’s head smacks into the floor beneath him as he finishes just like that, without so much as a stroke, just from being touched.By <em>Freddie</em>.</p>
<p>“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he chants mindlessly after, floating in it, dazed and dripping with sweat he hadn’t even realised was on his skin.</p>
<p>“Good ‘fuck’?” Freddie parrots back, grinning lazily as he drags himself up enough to roll off of Brian and slide onto the floor, wiping his hand off on his trousers. </p>
<p>“<em>Amazing</em>.”</p>
<p>The disc’s finished playing out the side it was on so the room’s quiet again, just the two of them catching their breath.</p>
<p>“What an album,” Brian says eventually, gazing up at his ceiling, reaching out to find Freddie’s hand and tangle their fingers together.His pants already feel uncomfortable, wet and sticking to his spent cock, but he’s not bothered enough to get up and change them just yet, quite content to just lie here like this forever.</p>
<p>“He’s a genius,” Freddie says softly, still awed.“The things he does...I never knew a guitar could sound like that.”</p>
<p>“Me either,” Brian says, laughing ruefully.“Almost makes me want to pack it in altogether.I could never do that.”</p>
<p>Freddie sits bolt upright, wincing as he immediately becomes aware of the mess in his own trousers.“Don’t say that, Bri!You play <em>brilliantly</em>, like nobody else I’ve ever heard.”</p>
<p>Brian laughs again.“You’re such a flatterer,” he scoffs, knocking Freddie’s knee.</p>
<p>“I <em>mean</em> it!” Freddie says, almost painfully earnest as he leans over Brian.“You <em>must</em> realise how good you are, Brian!<em>You’re</em> the reason Smile’s as good as it is.”</p>
<p>Brian can feel his cheeks heating up, a tiny bit self-conscious but not enough to want Freddie to stop.“I’m not as good as Jimi.”</p>
<p>“Because you’re <em>Brian</em>,” Freddie says simply, and absolutely means it, is the thing.“You’re like our <em>own</em> Jimi.”</p>
<p>Brian can’t deny that he likes the sound of that. </p>
<p>“And you’re ridiculously clever,” Freddie continues, looking around at the detritus of genius scattered through Brian’s bedroom.“All those effects, you can do all of that.<em>Smile</em> should be doing that, <em>that’s</em> what people want, it’ll take all of your music to the next level, especially if you got some—”</p>
<p>“Lights?” Brian interrupts, grinning.</p>
<p>Freddie blushes.“I know I keep banging on about it, darling, but <em>honestly</em>, it’ll take you to the next level.”</p>
<p>Brian smiles at him.“I know, I think you’ve got a p—”</p>
<p>“Brian?You home?”</p>
<p>Both of them freeze as Roger’s voice rings out, front door slamming shut behind him.</p>
<p>“<em>Fuck</em>,” Freddie mouths at Brian, wide-eyed, and stares down at his thin trousers which are very clear evidence that <em>something</em> happened in here.</p>
<p>“Don’t worry,” Brian mutters lowly, quickly getting to his feet and grabbing some of his jeans out of the wardrobe, throwing them at Freddie.“Yeah, Rog!Two secs!” he calls out, nearly choking on nothing but air as Freddie strips out of his trousers right <em>there</em>, turned away from Brian but...<em>fuck</em>.Brian’s cock starts to get hard all over again and he quickly looks away, feeling his face heat up, trying to distract himself by remembering how the first track of the album had gone.</p>
<p>It had been...something, with Jimi...guitars.Fuck, but Freddie isn’t wearing any underwear and he has the nicest arse Brian’s ever seen, he can’t <em>believe</em> Roger’s just come home.He could’ve kissed him again, otherwise, maybe on the bed this time, maybe with Freddie’s trousers <em>off</em> and—</p>
<p>Fuck. </p>
<p>“These don’t <em>fit</em>,” Freddie whispers, looking down at himself.</p>
<p>They’re too big by far, several inches over his feet, but there’s nothing to be done about that.At least he’s covered up now, though Brian’s cock hasn’t received the message that now is <em>not</em> the time.</p>
<p>“You’ll have to make do,” Brian whispers back, hastily checking his own crotch.His jeans are looking a bit tight but thankfully nothing of their little tryst is showing through the denim.</p>
<p>Freddie’s rolling the legs of the jeans up when Roger suddenly opens the door and Brian, panicking and trying to look as casual as possible, throws himself down on the bed.</p>
<p>Roger gives him a strange look, glancing between the two of them; Brian, a bit flushed and guilty-looking, and Freddie, stood in the middle of the room in too-big jeans and a deer-in-headlights look.</p>
<p>“Alright, Freddie?” Roger asks after a moment, recovering, though he gives Brian a significant look that immediately makes Brian dread being alone with him later because he’s going to get <em>grilled</em>.“I didn’t know you were coming over.”</p>
<p>“Oh, well it wasn’t planned, darling—Brian just called to say he had the new Jimi record so I came round to listen,” Freddie says airily.</p>
<p>There’s a beat after and it becomes horribly obvious that there’s no record playing.</p>
<p>“It just finished,” Brian says weakly.</p>
<p>“Uh huh,” Roger says, with another <em>look</em> at Brian.“Well anyway, I just came to let you know that we’ve got another gig—next weekend.Down in Cornwall, this guy I know from school’s hooked us up.You free?”</p>
<p>Brian nods.“Yeah, course.Is Tim?”</p>
<p>“Just about to call him,” Roger replies.“You coming, Freddie?” he adds innocently.</p>
<p>Freddie blinks.“To your gig?”</p>
<p>“Yeah.”</p>
<p>“In Cornwall?”</p>
<p>“Yeah.”</p>
<p>Freddie glances at Brian, unsure of himself.“I mean, of course I’d love to come and watch you—”</p>
<p>“<em>Well</em>, that’s settled, then!” Roger jumps in cheerfully.“You can come with us.We usually stay with my mum but she’s only got one spare room, you’ll have to share with Brian.Is that alright?”</p>
<p>Freddie’s eyes are still on Brian, who shoots him a shy grin.“Course it is,” he puts in, and watches as Freddie visibly sags with relief.“As long as it’s alright with you?”</p>
<p>“Oh yes, I’d sleep on the <em>floor</em>, darling!”</p>
<p>Roger snorts.“I’m sure <em>that</em> won’t be necessary,” he says knowingly.“Right, I’m gonna go call Tim.I’ll leave you two alone.”</p>
<p>He winks at Brian as he slips out and Brian wants to thump him but thankfully Freddie doesn’t seem to have picked up on anything weird in Roger’s behavior—probably because most times they’ve met, they’ve both been varying degrees of drunk so neither of them know what really passes for normal yet.</p>
<p>“Cornwall,” Freddie marvels as the door closes.“Practically a tour, darling!”</p>
<p>Brian snorts.“I wish.Roger used to live down there so he knows people, we’ve done quite a few shows there.”</p>
<p>“Do you drive down?”</p>
<p>“John usually drives us in the van,” Brian says, heaving himself up from the bed.“If you’re coming, though, I might see if Dad’ll lend me the car.It’s a long way to be stuck in the back with the drum kit.”</p>
<p>Freddie’s eyes light up hopefully but he reins himself in.“Don’t put yourself out on my account, Bri,” he says hurriedly.</p>
<p>“On <em>both</em> of our accounts,” Brian grins.“It’ll be way better than going in the van, loads more room if it’s just us.We’ll make better time as well.”</p>
<p>Freddie purses his lips, trying to stop his grin from spreading all over his face, and Brian just catches his eyes and grins as well, until they both laugh awkwardly and have to look away.</p>
<p>Brian can feel his face getting hot again and wishes he could go back to kissing Freddie but no way is he risking that while Roger’s around.</p>
<p>They find him in the living room with a drink and a course textbook that he sets aside the moment they emerge.</p>
<p>“Tim’s in,” he says to Brian before looking at Freddie.“You want a drink or anything, Freddie?I bet Brian didn’t offer one, did he?”</p>
<p>Brian hadn’t, he realises suddenly.He hadn’t even thought about it.</p>
<p>Freddie hesitates because he has an evening class in a couple of hours but he’s easily convinced by virtue of not quite wanting to leave Brian yet and winds up staying for two, relaxing on their sofa and laughing with the two of them, a part of him entirely unable to believe that he’s sitting chatting with two members of <em>Smile</em>, and <em>Brian</em> no less.</p>
<p>There’s an even bigger part of him that can’t believe what he and Brian had done earlier but Freddie’s carefully skirting those thoughts for the moment, waiting to bask deliciously in them later on when he’s alone and he can recall every moment, every word, every touch.</p>
<p>He has to leave eventually though, slightly tipsy but hoping he’ll draw better for it, and Brian jumps up to walk him to the door barely eight feet away, but conveniently obscured by the living room wall.</p>
<p>“Thanks for coming over,” Brian says lowly, glancing surreptitiously over his shoulder to make sure Roger hasn’t followed and leaning in to give Freddie a quick kiss before he loses his nerve.</p>
<p>Freddie blushes bright red and practically <em>glows</em>, beaming up at him.“Anytime,” he breathes, blinking dazedly.“I’ll...I’ll see you on the weekend?”</p>
<p>“Of course,” Brian promises, biting his lip as he grins and watches Freddie walk down the path until he’s out of sight down the street, leaning against the door after he closes it to try and get his heart to slow down.</p>
<p>“<em>Well</em>, well, well,” Roger says, undoing Brian’s hard work as he scares the life out of him, popping up in the living room doorway and grinning like the Cheshire Cat.“Tell.Me.<em>Everything</em>.”</p>
<p>Brian swirls to face him, fumbling for words, trying to play it cool but he can feel the pleased grin stretching across his face, knows there’s no hiding it.</p>
<p>“We kissed,” he bursts out proudly, still reeling on the high of it. </p>
<p>“<em>Kissed</em>?” Roger snorts.“Yeah, I wasn’t born yesterday, Bri.I <em>saw</em> his trousers on your floor.Did you—?”He trails off meaningfully and Brian flushes.</p>
<p>“No!” he says quickly.“No, we just...well, we kissed for a bit, and sort of, just.Went with it.Things got a bit heated, you know?And he...you know.Then I…”Brian shrugs, feeling painfully embarrassed but desperately wanting to tell <em>someone</em>.</p>
<p>Roger just arches an eyebrow.“Right,” he says slowly, “that really clears things up, cheers.Did you guys have sex?” he asks bluntly.</p>
<p>“No,” Brian says at once. </p>
<p>Roger sighs.“This is a lot less juicy than I thought it was gonna be,” he says disappointedly, retreating back into the living room. </p>
<p>“It was <em>good</em>,” Brian feels the need to defend himself, following him.“Best kiss I’ve ever had.<em>Ever</em>.”</p>
<p>“A trousers <em>off</em> kinda kiss?” Roger asks, waggling his eyebrows. </p>
<p>Brian wishes his face weren’t so hot.He’s torn between divulging all to Rog and trying to protect Freddie’s modesty. </p>
<p>Roger misunderstands his hesitation.“Brian, come on, I’m not gonna judge!Freddie’s cute.”</p>
<p>“<em>What</em>?”Instantly, Brian is less inclined to tell Roger anything and more inclined to interrogate him.“You think he’s <em>cute</em>?”</p>
<p>“Sure,” Roger shrugs, “he’s got sort of pretty eyes, don’t you think?”</p>
<p>Brian can only stare at him for a moment, irrationally angry all of a sudden.“You—what—”</p>
<p>“What, you don’t think he’s cute?”</p>
<p>“Obviously I think he’s cute!” Brian retorts sharply, “I think he’s bloody <em>gorgeous</em>, I just didn’t realise <em>you</em> were eyeing him up!”</p>
<p>“I’m hardly <em>eyeing him up</em>, I’m just <em>saying</em>—”</p>
<p>“Well don’t even <em>think</em> about trying anything!” Brian cuts him off warningly.“We’ve got a good thing going and I don’t want you to mess it up.”</p>
<p>“Jesus, Brian,” Roger laughs.“Chill out.I’m not <em>into</em> him, Christ, you jealous bastard.Are you <em>sure</em> you didn’t fuck earlier?”</p>
<p>“Painfully sure,” Brian says dryly, relaxing once he’s sure Roger means it and <em>isn’t</em> interested in Freddie.He’s spent months and months watching girls throw themselves at Roger (<em>why</em>, he doesn’t know) and the thought of him swooping in and chatting up Freddie is actively painful. </p>
<p>“So you <em>would </em>fuck him?” Roger surmises shrewdly. </p>
<p>Brian bites his lip.“I mean, I’d have to, like, <em>research</em>.I don’t know how to do it with a guy.But...yeah.Yeah, I think so.”He knows so.One glance at Freddie’s arse earlier and he knew without doubt that if Freddie’d given him so much as a <em>look</em> he’d have been on him in a flash.His cock twitches just remembering the sight of him wriggling into those jeans, all that bare skin, his <em>legs</em>, the brief peek at his back as his t-shirt pulled up.</p>
<p>Brian clears his throat.“Anyway, I’m gonna go...finish up some essays.”</p>
<p>Roger doesn’t even do him the service of <em>pretending</em> to believe that, giving him a knowing look as Brian slinks away, but Brian can’t bring himself to care. </p>
<p>Friday can’t come soon enough.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>aaaah god okay, a) i am so sorry this took so long, and b) this is not where i originally intended this fic to finish, i had a different end point in mind and a scene i'd written after that i really loved but i just couldn't get it to work and it felt like a natural end here so i'm going to stop trying to force it.  maybe i will try and work it into another fic at some point but this one is being left on this note :) </p><p>thanks so much to anyone who's actually still here and reading, i'm sorry i'm not around posting as much as i used to be, life is just a lot right now but i promise i still adore queen and this ship and still have several fics i keep coming back to, it's just taking me way longer to write due to real life at the moment.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>Friday, Brian decides by Tuesday, is too long to wait. </p><p>Fortunately for him, Roger had already agreed to do a shift with Freddie at his Kensington stall on Wednesday afternoon, presenting him with the perfect opportunity to drop by without it being weird.</p><p>Though Roger does give him a look like it <em>is</em> weird when Brian suddenly appears at a time when he usually has a lecture, at a market he can’t even pretend is on the way to uni, dressed in his nicest shirt.</p><p>“What are <em>you</em> doing here?” Roger asks, obnoxiously loudly, when he spots him, his arms full of clothes that need to be hung up on the racks and hangers that fill every foot of the tiny space.</p><p>Brian wants to hiss at him to play it <em>cool</em>, for fuck sake, but just then Freddie sticks his head out from behind a stack of boxes and jumps to his feet so suddenly he knocks the top box to the ground.</p><p>“Brian, darling!” he chirps, absolutely lighting up.</p><p>Brian’s heart immediately lurches into his throat.“Freddie—alright?” he greets casually, though he gives him such a huge smile he feels anything <em>but</em> casual. </p><p>Roger snorts and dumps the clothes he was carrying down, helping Freddie pick the fallen box back up.“So, Brian,” he says lightly, smirking at him when Freddie’s not looking, “not that this isn’t a nice surprise but uh...what exactly <em>are</em> you doing here?Don’t you have a lecture?”</p><p>Brian glares at him.“<em>I will kill you</em>,” he mouths.Then, out-loud, “It’s cancelled.”A lie.“And we’ve got the gig on Friday so I thought I’d see if there was anything around here that’d be good to wear on stage.”</p><p>Freddie nearly buzzes with excitement.“I can help, darling!” he says quickly, before Roger can so much as open his mouth.</p><p>Brian feels such a swell of triumph it’s a wonder he doesn’t float a few feet into the air and he joins Freddie as he starts rifling through clothes hangers at breakneck speed, leaving Roger to deal with the boxes.</p><p>“So, what’re you thinking?” he asks, hovering uncertainly for a few seconds before he realises Freddie doesn’t need any help right now and sitting down out of the way on an old apple crate.</p><p>“Something <em>flowy</em>,” Freddie says, which is slightly alarming.</p><p>“<em>Flowy</em>?” Brian repeats, eyebrows jumping up.“People don’t really—”</p><p>“Bri!Trust me!”Freddie turns to look at him imploringly, his eyes big and brown and impossible to resist. </p><p>Brian puts his hands up.“Alright, alright.I trust you,” he chuckles, giving Freddie a grin that grows somehow meaningful as they lock eyes for several drawn-out seconds that make Brian’s stomach flutter.<em>God</em>, but he wishes Roger weren’t here right now.“Is that for the top, then?”</p><p>Freddie nods, busily pulling a few options from the rail.</p><p>Brian pauses.“What about on the bottom?”</p><p>Freddie hesitates for half a second before throwing a wicked grin his way.“Something <em>tight</em>.”</p><p>“Tight, huh?”</p><p>“Mmm.You have great thighs, darling, you should show them off,” Freddie tells him, backing away from the rail with clothes over his arms just as Roger pops up from behind the boxes he’d been unpacking.</p><p>“I’m gonna go and get a coffee,” he says hastily, abandoning his job.“I’ll probably be gone for like, ten minutes,” he adds pointedly, looking between the two of them. </p><p>Brian wishes he’d be less obvious but also wishes he’d piss off a bit quicker and he shoots Freddie a smirk as the drummer exits the stall with all haste, muttering under his breath as he goes.</p><p>Freddie looks after him in consternation.“Is he okay?”</p><p>“Oh, he’s fine,” Brian says quickly, not wanting to waste a second of their ten minutes.He reaches out to tug Freddie toward him, divesting him of the stage outfits he’d picked out and standing up so he can lean in and capture his mouth in a kiss he feels like he’s been starving for since they last saw each other.</p><p>Freddie tips his mouth eagerly up against his, lips parting in a gentle sigh of sweet <em>relief</em> that makes Brian feel heady and warm.He sets his hands on Freddie’s waist to pull him flush against his body even though he <em>knows</em> that’s a bad idea when they only have ten minutes, and Freddie groans like he’s thinking the exact same thing.</p><p>“He’s not going to be gone for long,” Freddie says breathlessly, finally pulling away. </p><p>“Ten minutes,” Brian says with a playful grin, nipping gently at Freddie’s lip.“Can do a lot in ten minutes.I missed you,” he adds, seriously, kissing him again.“Been thinking about you.”</p><p>Freddie sags against him, melting into his touch, and Brian lets himself fall back until he sits back down on the apple crate, pulling Freddie with him into his lap.There’s no time to doubt or to second-guess himself and worry that Freddie thinks it’s too much, that he’s too awkward—he just follows his instincts, and his instincts say that any second spent not kissing Freddie is a second <em>wasted</em>.</p><p>Freddie seems to agree, eagerly pressing against him, one knee on the crate, his legs splayed over Brian’s thighs, and Brian has to take one hand off of him to steady himself on the wall behind, his other hand clutching Freddie tightly.</p><p>He runs out of breath long before he wants to and has to pull away, pressing his forehead to Freddie’s as he tries to calm his heart and his breathing, grinning self-consciously because he kind of can’t believe they’re doing this right now.</p><p>“How long’s it been?” Freddie asks, just as breathless.His lips are sinfully pink and Brian quickly kisses him again.</p><p>“No idea,” he admits.“Not long.”Another kiss.“Still got ages.”He leans in properly again, gently cupping Freddie’s chin and giving in and using his tongue; he’s already half-hard, it’s going to be awkward walking out of here no matter what he does—he may as well enjoy it.</p><p>He’s just starting to <em>really</em> enjoy it, Freddie’s hand squeezing him through his jeans and just beginning to fiddle with his zip, when Roger (who Brian is starting to think of as his own personal cock-block) clears his throat from just outside the stall.</p><p>“I have coffee!” he proclaims, unnecessarily loudly.</p><p>Freddie leaps off of Brian like he’s been electrocuted, smoothing his shirt down and running a hand through his hair as he spins to greet Roger.</p><p>“Well, Earl Grey for you, Freddie,” the blond amends as he slips inside with three take-away cups held awkwardly in both hands.</p><p>“You’re absolutely <em>wonderful</em>, darling!” Freddie proclaims, rescuing one of the cups and giving it a sniff before handing it off to Brian and accepting his own tea from Roger.</p><p>Brian feels a <em>slight</em>, irrational flare of jealousy at the fact that Roger apparently knows what Freddie drinks and he <em>didn’t</em> but he fights it back; Roger might have been working with him all morning but it was <em>his</em> lap Freddie was just sitting in.</p><p>“So, what clothes are you gonna stick Brian in for the gig?” Roger asks, finding a stack of boxes to perch against.“Something lime green and embarrassing?”</p><p>Freddie flushes a bit and hastily grabs some of the items Brian had divested him of before thoroughly distracting him.“Er...we haven’t decided yet,” he says, laying a few pieces out.“Something <em>white</em>, I think.Even if you don’t have any decent lights it’ll still be eye-catching.”</p><p>“You and your lighting rigs,” Roger sniggers, coming over to peer at Freddie’s selection.“Will you be able to play in these sleeves, Brian?”</p><p>Brian, who hasn’t actually looked at any of the choices yet, joins them and looks them over.He can feel Freddie’s enthusiastic stare on the side of his head so, while he’s sure the sleeves <em>will</em> hinder his playing a bit, he nods.</p><p>“Yeah, course.You reckon something like this, then, do you, Fred?”</p><p>“<em>Freddie</em>.Yes, don’t you think?It’ll be ever so dramatic, especially if you move about the stage a bit.”</p><p>Roger makes a face.“People don’t really <em>do</em> that at a rock’n’roll show,” he points out.</p><p>“You aren’t <em>people</em>, you’re <em>Smile</em>,” Freddie counters.</p><p>Roger snorts.“The stage probably won’t be big enough for the sort of antics you’re thinking of, anyway.”</p><p>Freddie makes a face.“If <em>I</em> was your singer I’d make a proper show of it, something the audience wouldn’t forget,” he says resolutely. </p><p>“Well,” Roger says, “Tim won’t.And <em>I</em> can’t, I gotta sit down.Looks like it’s all up to you, Bri.”</p><p>Brian doubts he’ll actually take Freddie’s advice to prance around the stage on board but he doesn’t say as much out loud, instead grasping on something else.“I didn’t know you could sing, Freddie,” he says, running his finger along the materials of the shirts Freddie picked out.Some of them feel horrible but there are two that are nice and soft and Brian separates them out<b>.</b></p><p>“Oh yes, I’m in the market for a band, actually,” Freddie says, ever so casually. </p><p>Brian turns to look at him in surprise.“I didn’t know that,” he admits.</p><p>“Well,” Freddie shrugs, “I’ve only recentlystarted looking.I was in a band in school but they’re all a bit far away, now, I don’t think they’d make it to London for a gig,” he says, flashing a grin.</p><p>Brian’s curiosity is immediately piqued.He knows Freddie didn’t go to school around here, knows he took his exams somewhere in India, but beyond that he hasn’t got a clue and Freddie hasn’t mentioned it before. </p><p>“Where—” he starts, but just then a woman ducks into the stall and Freddie shoves him to the back to try on shirts before he and Roger leap on the poor woman to try and gently bully her into buying a hat topped with a hideous stuffed ferret.</p><p>After that the stall sees a sudden influx of customers and Brian eventually has to admit that he’s only in the way, so he pays what little money he has left for the shirt that fits best, bids a reluctant goodbye, and heads out into the market.</p><p>He’s halfway down the street when quick footsteps behind him have him turning, thinking he’s about to get ploughed down, but then he has an armful of Freddie and is being steered clumsily into the narrow street just behind them.</p><p>It’s empty and Freddie grins impishly at him before quickly, covertly, stealing a kiss.</p><p>Brian knows he shouldn’t, it’s broad daylight and anybody could turn onto this street at any moment, but he leans in to try and deepen it.Freddie’s already pulled away, though, eyes bright and happy and Brian wants to kiss him more than ever.</p><p>“I’ll see you on Friday?” Freddie asks hopefully.</p><p>“Friday,” Brian grins, ducking in for another secret kiss before Freddie skips off.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>Friday quickly becomes a source of almost unbearable anticipation and crippling anxiety for Brian.He simultaneously wants it to be here <em>now</em> but also wants a few more weeks beforehand to...well, he doesn’t really know what.To <em>prepare</em>, somehow.He wants to <em>do</em> things with Freddie while they’re away and he’s pretty fucking sure Freddie’s going to be up for it, but he hasn’t got a clue what people do with other men.</p><p>He knows <em>what</em> would most likely be involved but he’s never done <em>that</em> with a girl before so he doesn’t know <em>how</em> and would rather <em>die</em> before asking Roger if he has.But Brian’s a scientist, a perfectionist; he refuses to go into this blind, <em>especially</em> when he’s sure Freddie has more experience than him.He doesn’t want to show himself up or be caught on the back foot but most of all he just wants it, whatever happens, to be perfect.</p><p>Maybe they’ll just kiss and share a bed like they’d shared the sofa at Freddie’s party, or maybe they’ll do exactly what they’ve done before—Brian knows he’d be more than happy if they did—and all of his worry will have been for nothing.But if there <em>is</em> a chance that they could do more, could maybe even go all the way, he wants to know what he’s doing.</p><p>It takes some painfully awkward asking of a few people at uni that Brian’s sure gives him away (and if his halting enquiries hadn’t, he’s sure his blush must’ve) but he finds out about a gay-allied sexual health clinic that’s just recently opened in Camden and catches the bus over that same afternoon, before he can change his mind.</p><p>He’s cringing with embarrassment as he walks in and waits for someone to talk to him, then has to spend several minutes insisting he’s not there for a test or to report something but just...advice.</p><p>There isn’t really a textbook he can just memorise, as it turns out, and it’s not the sort of thing they’re there to advise on but the woman who sees him takes pity and gives him a fistful of free condoms and lube packets, and dozens of pamphlets on safe sex and STDs and how to know if you’re in an abusive relationship.</p><p>Brian stuffs them into his jacket and hurries out, face flaming, not really any the wiser on the mechanics of it all but feeling rich for condoms, which he truthfully hadn’t even considered since it wasn’t as though either of them could get pregnant.And they’re ridiculously expensive.</p><p>He prays it’s all well-hidden in his coat as he buses over to his parents house for a free dinner and to sweet-talk his dad into lending him the car for the weekend, and the money to fill it up.</p><p>He agrees, eventually, after extracting half a dozen promises from Brian about how careful he’ll be not to park it anywhere dangerous or scuff the paintwork and by the time Brian gets home he’s so exhausted he falls straight into bed, and then—somehow—it’s Friday.</p><p>The gig’s not until nine that night but Freddie had agreed to meet him in the morning so they can get there in plenty of time, and it’s the ringing of the doorbell that wakes Brian.</p><p>He groans as he wakes reluctantly, grateful that Roger’s still kicking around the flat because he can hear him opening the front door, then Freddie’s sweet voice greets him and Brian’s eyes shoot right open as he remembers why Freddie’s <em>here</em> and that it’s <em>Friday</em>.</p><p>He rolls out of bed and shuffles out of his room almost before his brain catches up and realises what he’s doing, yawning and pulling a t-shirt on as he goes, running into Freddie in the hall.</p><p>Freddie’s eyes immediately drop to his chest and stomach for the brief moment before they’re covered by the shirt and he stumbles over his chirpy greeting.</p><p>“Oh, Brian—I—well, uh—good morning, darling, how...how are you, then?” Freddie asks, flushing red to the tips of his ears.He’s clutching a paper bag in one hand and an overnight bag in the other, and Brian can’t decide which of those thrills him more. </p><p>“Morning, Freddie,” he grins, stepping aside to let Roger head for the bathroom before walking into the kitchen and flicking the kettle on.He’s going to need a <em>lot</em> of coffee before he makes this drive.“What’s in the bag?”</p><p>“Bagels,” Freddie says proudly.He dumps his bag and drops down into one of the rickety kitchen chairs at the even more rickety table.“I had to stop by the market this morning to give Mary a few things—she’s covering for me for the weekend—so I thought I’d pick up breakfast.”</p><p>“You didn’t have to do that,” Brian tells him, though he’s grateful.He’s not sure what they even have in for breakfast, if anything.</p><p>Freddie waves a hand.“Oh, they never cost me anything, he gives them to me for free,” he says airily.</p><p>Brian arches an eyebrow.“Friends in high places, huh?You want tea?”He spent some of his precious cash yesterday to buy some Earl Grey tea bags especially. </p><p>“Please,” Freddie says.“He’s an ex, really.But we’re good friends now.”</p><p>Brian’s eyebrows go even higher as he struggles not to let the automatic bite of jealousy sting him too badly.“Bagel makers,” he muses, pouring water into cups.“Is that your type, then?”</p><p>“Oh yes,” Freddie says at once, and Brian can <em>hear</em> the little grin in his voice.“Any boy must have absolutely <em>perfected</em> the art of baking before I’ll even <em>consider</em> letting him kiss me.”There’s a pause and when Brian looks around, Freddie has his chin in both hands and he’s just smiling at him, eyes glittering.“Do you bake?” he asks innocently.</p><p>“Oh yes,” Brian echoes him, trying to hold back his grin.“I’m a fantastic baker.” </p><p>“Well then,” Freddie says grandly.“I suppose I’ll let you kiss me.”</p><p>Brian takes that as the invitation it is and promptly abandons the tea, leaning over Freddie in his chair to plant a kiss on him while they still have the room to themselves.</p><p>Freddie lets out a happy little sigh, turning his face up.</p><p>“Well I’m sure I <em>would</em> be a fantastic baker, anyway,” Brian amends after another kiss, “if I ever gave it a go.”</p><p>“That’s good enough for me,” Freddie assures him, amused, his tongue flicking out to tread shyly against Brian’s lip before the bathroom door bangs open down the hall and they reluctantly pull away.“I think I have a new type, anyway,” he says conspiratorially as Brian returns to finish making the tea.</p><p>“Oh?”</p><p>“Mhmm,” Freddie hums, not elaborating. </p><p>Brian sets his tea down in front of him and drops into the chair opposite Freddie’s, kicking his legs out so their feet are resting together.“What’s this new type of yours, then?” he asks oh-so-casually as he tears open the paper bag and selects a bagel.</p><p>Freddie’s ears are pink and he picks up his cup to duck behind it a bit.“Musicians.”</p><p>Brian bites his lip as he grins.“Oh yeah?Jimi, I suppose?”</p><p>“Well of course,” Freddie says seriously. </p><p>“What’s that, Hendrix?” Roger interrupts, walking in and rubbing a hand towel through his hair, though he tosses it aside to dive on the bagels as soon as he spots them.“Shoulda known you two’d be out here talking about him,” he snorts.“Did you bring these, Freddie?They’re good.”</p><p>Freddie nods, pulling his own to pieces on a napkin and nibbling at a bite.“They’re wonderful when they’re fresh, aren’t they?”</p><p>“<em>So</em> good,” Roger agrees.“You can definitely come for breakfast as often as you like.”</p><p>Brian immediately gets lost in the fantasy of that; Freddie, here at their shitty little table in the mornings, drinking tea in one of Brian’s shirts after spending the night.After spending the night with <em>Brian</em>, hours and hours while the flat would be quiet around them, so much time to get to know each other in <em>every</em> possible way, to kiss and touch and <em>taste</em> and they’d need so much caffeine the next morning because they wouldn’t sleep at <em>all</em> if Brian had anything to say about it.</p><p>“Yeah,” Brian adds, hastily tucking his ankle over his knee and pulling his chair further under the table.“Definitely, Fred.”</p><p>“Fredd<em>ie</em>!” Freddie corrects, tossing a bit of bagel at him.“I swear you do it on purpose, darling.”</p><p>Brian laughs, shaking the bread out of his hair.“Sorry, sorry.Do you have everything you need?” he asks as he drains the rest of his coffee and stretches, making the most of being able to before they’re in the car.“John’s coming round to pick up the equipment we have here so I’m going to help him load up but I want to get out on the road after that.”</p><p>Freddie nods, grinning.“I’m ready when you are.Who else is coming in the car with us?”</p><p>Brian wills his face to remain cool.“Just us,” he says casually.“Roger and Tim are going up with John in the van.”</p><p>“Oh, I’ll give you the key actually, Brian,” Roger says, turning into the hall to dig through his coat pockets.“Mum ended up going to my aunt’s this weekend so she won’t be there to let you in.”</p><p>Freddie lights up.“We’ll have the place to ourselves?”</p><p>Roger grins at him.“Yep.Got loads of beer ready to go in the van.”</p><p>“Your mum’s okay with that?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Roger shrugs.“As long as we clean up after and don’t break anything.”</p><p>Freddie’s eyes are wide.“Wow.My parents would <em>never</em> let me have a party in their house,” he says, impressed. </p><p>“Mine either,” Brian says, deeming it safe to stand up now that his brain’s moved on from the idea of Freddie staying over, though he has to be careful to not let his thoughts stray back—it only takes the slightest <em>hint</em> of an idea for his cock to start paying attention.Fuck, he honestly can’t remember liking <em>anyone</em> like this. </p><p>He rinses his cup in the sink before grabbing Freddie’s bag and taking it out to the car, packing both it and his own safely in the boot, then carefully laying the Red Special in its case across the back seats.</p><p>John arrives in the van not long after and they all troop back and forth from the flat to collect equipment and carry it out while John oversees the actual packing side of things. </p><p>Freddie feels like his arms are about to fall off by the time he’s in the passenger seat of Brian’s dad’s car and Brian’s starting the engine.</p><p>“God, I feel like I need to go to the gym to be able to help out with that stuff,” he sighs, collapsing back against his seat and closing his eyes.</p><p>Brian snorts.“Heavy, isn’t it?I wish I had more amps but I don’t know if we’d be able to travel with any more.”</p><p>“<em>More</em> amps!” Freddie marvels.“You’ll blow people’s heads off, darling!”</p><p>“That’s the plan.”Brian flashes him a grin.“I like it when it’s loud.”</p><p>That makes Freddie blush and Brian finds himself distracted by it, absolutely enamoured by the pink wash making its way over his cheeks as he ducks his head, trying not to smile.</p><p>“Do you, now?” Freddie responds meaningfully after a few beats have passed and Brian feels his own ears burn.</p><p><em>Fuck</em>, it’s just instant, the second there’s even a <em>hint</em> or suggestion of sex and it’s like Brian’s body is possessed.Because yes, he <em>does</em> like it loud.Very much.And he reckons Freddie would be.</p><p>“Uhh, can you get the map out?” he asks quickly, hoping Freddie won’t look over until he’s had a few seconds to <em>breathe</em> and make sure he has himself under control, to make sure his thoughts don’t wander too far.“It should be down by your feet somewhere.”</p><p>Freddie bends forward to hunt for it beneath the bags that are crammed in the footwell, pulling up a sheet of colourful paper that Brian catches from the corner of his eye and feels himself go <em>cold</em>.</p><p>“What’s this?” Freddie asks, turning it over and reading the front aloud.“‘Get Tested: The Symptoms of Syphilis’.Uh…?”</p><p>Before Brian can think of what to say, Freddie leans back down and digs under his bag to find handfuls of the things, laughing in surprise as he looks. </p><p>
  <em>Gonorrhoea</em>
  <em>: Get The Facts. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Do You Have Chlamydia? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Putting on a Condom: It’s Simple!It’s Safe!</em>
</p><p>Brian wants to <em>die</em>.“Those are—I just—”</p><p>“Do you have something to tell me, Bri?” Freddie asks, amused, still sifting through the brochures.</p><p>“No!Fuck, oh my God, please just—just chuck them in the back!”Brian doesn’t think he’s ever been so embarrassed in his fucking life and he can only thank the heavens that all the lube packets and condoms are safely in his bag and not discarded on the floor. </p><p>“Why?This is helpful stuff,” Freddie says, pulling in a sudden breath when he sees one of them. </p><p>“They were giving them out at uni, Freddie, just chuck them away!”</p><p>“<em>This</em>?” Freddie asks, and flashes one of them at Brian. </p><p>He takes his eyes off the road for a second to look, doing a double-take when he actually sees.He hadn’t looked at any of the leaflets they’d given him at the clinic, just dumped them in the car when he left his parents, but the one Freddie’s picked out is eye catching because, to his shock, there are two men on the front.<em>You Won’t Believe What We Like To Wear In Bed.</em></p><p>Freddie’s quiet for a moment.“No university around here would give <em>this</em> out.”</p><p>Brian can’t deny that.He squirms, sweat slicking down his back as he’s consumed by embarrassment. </p><p>“Well...well, no,” he admits eventually, keeping his eyes firmly on the road.</p><p>“Do you…” Freddie hesitates, “...<em>have</em> something?” he asks carefully.</p><p>Brian quickly shakes his head.“<em>No</em>, nothing like that.”He doesn’t say anything else for a few seconds but the silence is deathly awkward and he can’t stand it.“I kind of...I was sort of asking around, about...well, <em>sex</em> and everything, because, well, I’ve only ever—with, you know?” </p><p>Brian chances a look over at Freddie, who looks like he hasn’t got a clue what Brian’s getting at, not that anyone could blame him.</p><p>“I’ve only ever had sex with women,” he says in a rush, eyes determinedly forward.“So I was looking for...<em>advice</em>.”</p><p>“On…?” Freddie prompts.</p><p>Brian groans.“Are you gonna make me say it?”</p><p>Freddie’s face is bright red.“Well...yes,” he says.“Just because I <em>think</em> I know what you’re trying to say but I really, <em>really</em> don’t want to assume the wrong thing.”</p><p>Brian takes a breath.It’s ridiculous to be embarrassed; they’ve already gotten each other off and Brian’s jerked off thinking about him a dozen times in the last week alone.He <em>knows</em> Freddie’s interested.They’re both adults.Brian just wishes they weren’t having this conversation at the <em>start</em> of a five hour long car journey they’re spending together.</p><p>“Okay, well.Well...since we fooled around, I just thought...and obviously I’m not assuming anything and please don’t feel, you know, <em>pressured</em> or anything,” Brian says quickly, his hands tight on the wheel.“But, well.If we...if you <em>did</em> want to do anything <em>else</em>, then...then I wanted to know what the hell I was doing.”</p><p>“And...brochures about <em>gonorrhoea</em> are the way to do that?” Freddie asks wrly.</p><p>“Oh, shut up,” Brian groans good-naturedly.“They gave me loads of the things.I don’t have gonorrhoea,” he feels the need to clarify, just to make doubly sure.</p><p>Freddie laughs.“You know you could’ve just...asked.”</p><p>“I know,” Brian assures him, “and I would’ve.But I wanted to...to <em>research</em> whatever I could.”</p><p>“You bloody scientist,” Freddie says fondly, shaking his head. </p><p>Another silence falls, though this one is slightly less awkward, until Freddie clears his throat and shifts in his seat, dumping the brochures in the pocket of the car door. </p><p>“So…” he starts, too casually.“Just so you know, you can...assume away.”</p><p>Brian tries but can’t quite bite back the grin that takes over his face.“Yeah?”</p><p>Freddie nods.“Mmm.I like you rather a lot, you see.”</p><p>Which Brian <em>did</em> know but hearing it aloud sends him soaring straight to cloud nine.“Not just angling for free gig tickets, then?” Brian checks playfully.</p><p>Freddie snorts.“Well, not <em>just</em> that,” he allows.“Actually I’m hoping you’ll make a band with <em>me</em> one day,” he adds suddenly, much to Brian’s surprise.</p><p>“A <em>band</em>?” he repeats.“Together?”</p><p>Freddie pulls back into his seat a bit but he nods.“Yes, of course, darling.We’d be the perfect fit, don’t you think?With your guitar and the songs you write, maybe Roger as well, and with <em>me</em> singing we’d be like nothing else around at the moment.”</p><p>Brian’s so surprised by this revelation that he doesn't know what to say for a few seconds.He has no idea if Freddie can sing or not but even so, he can imagine it: Freddie’s so invested in Smile anyway and always full of ideas for their stage shows it probably wouldn’t even be that different.</p><p>“But...we already have a singer,” Brian points out.</p><p>“I know,” Freddie sighs.And Tim’s a good friend of his, unfortunately, but Freddie’s uncharitable enough to think that Tim’s the weakest link in Brian’s band and needs replacing.He’s just not uncharitable enough to actually say it aloud.He wants Brian to figure it out on his own.“If he were ever to lose his voice in a tragic accident, though…”</p><p>Brian snorts.“I’ll come straight to you,” he promises.“Do you play bass?”</p><p>“Ah, no.We’d need a new bass player,” Freddie clarifies. </p><p>Brian shakes his head.“Bloody hell, recruiting you comes with a whole <em>host</em> of problems, huh?”</p><p>“<em>Well</em> if you want to get into it I have plenty of ideas for the wardrobe, logo, band name…” Freddie reels off, only half-joking.</p><p>“What’s wrong with the band name?” Brian protests. </p><p>“Nothing’s <em>wrong</em> with it,” Freddie says carefully, though he can tell Brian’s not actually offended.“I just think you could do with something a bit more attention grabbing.”</p><p>“Like what?”</p><p>“I don’t know yet,” Freddie has to admit.“I need to think about it.” </p><p>Brian laughs and shakes his head.“Do you spend a <em>lot</em> of time plotting how to overthrow my band?” he asks curiously, letting go of the gearstick to give Freddie’s knee a playful nudge as they head out of London and hit the motorway.</p><p>The journey is ridiculously long, usually spent crammed into a van that smells strongly of petrol with several other guys and all their equipment, and despite the excitement for the gigs Brian always dreads them a little bit because of the travel.</p><p>But driving with Freddie isn’t like that at all.Of course with the car they already have the advantage of more room—Brian can actually stretch his legs a bit—but he thinks even if they were stuck in the van together it’d be fine if it was just the two of them.He’s never, in his life, found someone as easy to talk to as Freddie is.They <em>connect</em> in a way Brian just can’t believe, it’s so <em>easy</em>, like they’ve known each other for years, except <em>not</em> because there’s still so much to learn about each other and Brian just can’t get enough.</p><p>He knows he’s putting their gig later in jeopardy but he just can’t stop talking to him; every single subject they touch upon opens a whole new layer of interest and fascination, veering between easy, playful back-and-forth to philosophical debates and back again within minutes. </p><p>It’s all too soon when the half-familiar streets of Truro start coming into view and Brian realises with a pang that they’re nearly there.It’s a good thing, really, because he needs to stand up and walk around for a bit and he’s dying for a piss but he’s gutted, too; he doesn’t want to share Freddie with any of the others, doesn’t even particularly care about the gig later, just wants to keep driving and talking and, he’s pretty sure, falling head over fucking heels for a boy he’s only known for a few weeks.</p><p>His heart leaps when they pull up outside Roger’s mum’s house, though, because the drive is completely devoid of any other vehicles which he’s pretty sure he and Freddie realise at the <em>exact</em> same time because he catches Freddie’s eye and there’s no mistaking the smile on him.</p><p>“Looks like nobody’s home, darling,” Freddie says, leaning over Brian to peer through the driver’s side window at the house outside.“And the others aren’t here yet.”</p><p>Brian has to take a deep, steadying breath just from Freddie being in his space like that, and opens the door.“It’s alright, I’ve got Roger’s key,” he says, letting out a groan as he stands up and gets to stretch his legs out properly, flinging his arms out and arching his back, grinning when he looks back down and realises Freddie’s watching him.</p><p>He flushes when he realises he’s caught and Brian tries to hide his smirk, collecting the Red Special as Freddie grabs both of their bags and carries them up to the door.</p><p>He follows Brian upstairs to the room they’ll be staying in, dumping the bags while Brian carefully sets his guitar in the corner and turns to look at him.</p><p>“So,” he says, suddenly keenly aware of just how alone they are.“Do you want a tour of the house?”</p><p>Freddie shakes his head and practically throws himself at him, mouth eager and open as Brian catches him around the waist and pulls him close, grinning happily.</p><p>“No?” he asks breathlessly, pulling apart for a few moments.</p><p>“No,” Freddie confirms, sitting on the edge of the bed and tugging on Brian’s hands so he’ll come closer, letting out a little moan when Brian comes closer still and pushes him backward so he can lean down on top of him and kiss him some more.</p><p>“How—how far—do you think the—others are?” Freddie asks in the brief snatches when his mouth isn’t otherwise occupied.</p><p>“Dunno,” Brian replies distractedly, running his hands up and down Freddie’s sides, long fingers playing with his shirt, lifting the hem to tease at the warm skin underneath.“Hour at least, probably longer if they stopped for lunch.And the van’s not as fast as the car.”</p><p>Freddie tips his head back, swallowing hard, and moans again when Brian’s teeth scrape gently over his neck, shivering pleasurably.“So…” he begins shyly, bringing a hand between them to slide his fingers into Brian’s waistband, though he doesn’t open his fly just yet, just holds on to his jeans, Brian’s stomach warm and tense against his knuckles.</p><p>“So,” Brian agrees, kissing him breathlessly.“You wanna?”</p><p>Just <em>knowing</em> it’s going to happen drops heat from the top of his skull down through Freddie’s entire body, lighting him up from the inside out.“Yes, yes I want to, darling,” he says quickly, holding tightly.“Will you be okay?With the gig later?”</p><p>Brian snorts, both hands sneaking up Freddie’s chest inside his shirt.“Freddie I’m pretty sure if we have sex now I’ll play better than I have in my <em>entire</em> life later on,” he says, amused.</p><p>Freddie grins roguishly at him.“Oh yeah?”</p><p>“Yeah.Two seconds,” Brian says, giving him one last kiss before he pulls away.</p><p>Freddie pouts but shuffles up the bed to get more comfortable as Brian dives into his bag, dragging clothes and wires and a book out before he apparently lands on what he’s after with an, ‘Aha!’ and returns to Freddie with several packets in his hands.</p><p>Freddie arches an eyebrow.“Well <em>someone</em> came prepared,” he can’t help but note, grinning as Brian kneels on the bed and scatters the packets on the blankets around them so he can get his hands on Freddie again. </p><p>“Just didn’t want to take any chances,” Brian mutters against his mouth, tugging at his shirt again.“Can I take this off you?”</p><p>Freddie nods and hastily helps Brian get his shirt off, grabbing at his in turn and yanking it up over his head and hair, tossing it off the side of the bed. </p><p>“God, fuck,” Freddie breathes, arching upward as Brian lies down on him so their chests are pressed together.He can feel both of their hearts beating wildly and digs his nails in at Brian’s hips for a moment.“Are we really going to do this, then?”</p><p>Brian grins at him.“Yeah.Been thinking about this since your birthday,” he confesses, long fingers dipping beneath the waist of Freddie’s trousers, running just one along his midriff so Freddie shivers.</p><p>“Oh, fuck.Me too.Since way before that, darling,” Freddie breathes.“I’ve fancied you for ages.”</p><p>Brian snorts but bites his lip, flattered.“Me?”</p><p>“<em>You</em>.I can’t wait to see you out there tonight.”</p><p>Brian presses their foreheads together for a few moments, trying to calm himself down a bit.He loves the idea of being out on stage <em>after</em>, with Freddie cheering from the wings, both of them closer than they’ve ever been before.“You know I’ve never done this before?” he qualifies, thumbing the button of Freddie’s fly open. </p><p>Freddie nods.“We can go slow, darling,” he assures him, getting up onto his elbows and smiling up at Brian.“How do you want to do it?”</p><p>Brian frowns at him, words like <em>now</em> and <em>hard</em> running through his head.“What?”</p><p>“Do you want to fuck me, or do you want me to fuck you?” Freddie clarifies.</p><p>“<em>Oh</em>.I want...I kind of want to do it to <em>you</em> if that’s alright?”Brian hasn’t really considered the alternative, it’s not what he’s used to; he just imagined Freddie <em>under</em> him, surrounding him, taking him.He can feel his cock leaking already and just hopes he actually <em>gets</em> to that point.</p><p>“Oh, good,” Freddie says happily, collapsing back onto the covers with a satisfied smile.</p><p>“That okay?” Brian checks, hands still on his waistband.</p><p>Freddie nods.“More than,” he says, lifting his hips so Brian can slide his trousers off and distractedly throw them aside as he stares at him.His hand goes out without thought, fingers wrapping around Freddie’s length, which is just as hard as Brian feels, to just <em>touch</em> him, feel him, stroking gently.</p><p>Freddie groans, pushing up into his hand before he manages to control himself and catches Brian’s wrist.</p><p>Brian freezes, staring at him. </p><p>“Just...I’m going to come if you do that for very long, darling,” Freddie explains, flushed.</p><p>“Oh,” Brian says, a smug smirk spreading across his lips.“So you wouldn’t let me <em>taste</em>, then?”</p><p>Freddie lets out a startled noise and hastily grabs the base of his own cock, squeezing his eyes closed and breathing deliberately steadily.“Oh <em>Christ</em>.No, definitely not, not yet, <em>fuck</em>, are you sure you haven’t done this before?”</p><p>Brian laughs, but he hasn’t.He’s just fascinated.He knows what feels good on his own cock and it makes everything feel like it’s on a more level playing field that Freddie has the same, that Brian knows things he can do to make him feel good, even if he doesn’t know <em>exactly</em> how to do them.He has a pretty good idea, and a vivid imagination he’s used often enough lately where Freddie is concerned.And he has an urgent, desperate need to see Freddie come apart.</p><p>“Later, then?” Brian suggests impishly, buoyed by all of Freddie’s reactions; nobody’s ever made him feel <em>sexy</em> and desired like this before.He’s pretty sure nobody’s ever wanted him this much.</p><p>And he’s absolutely sure he’s never wanted anyone else this much.</p><p>“Later,” Freddie gasps his agreement, nodding.“I want to suck you off.After the show, backstage.”</p><p>Brian has to press his own palm against his crotch, nodding vigorously.“Oh yeah, oh <em>fuck</em> yeah, we can definitely do that later.”</p><p>Freddie stares up at him, pupils wide and cheeks pink.“You have...<em>no</em> idea how long I’ve wanted to do that for you.”</p><p>“Oh?”Brian has to swallow hard, thoroughly taken by the idea of it, running his hands along Freddie’s thighs, deliciously naked beneath him.“You thought about that, did you?”</p><p>Freddie nods.“When I say I’ve fancied you for a long time, Bri, I mean a <em>long</em> time,” he gets out, one hand scrabbling around him for the packets.“Where’s the lube?”</p><p>Brian has to take a moment to engage his brain and realise what Freddie’s asking before he looks around for it, grabbing a few of the packets. </p><p>Freddie takes one from his hands and rips it open with his teeth and just <em>that</em> has Brian leaking again.He’s desperate to get his jeans off but he’s sure that the moment he feels Freddie against his cock he’s going to lose the battle and come everywhere so he tries to ignore the discomfort for now and focus on Freddie.</p><p>He’s squeezing lubricant out onto his fingers, rubbing it in as Brian watches, then dips a hand down between his legs.Which, <em>fuck</em>.Brian averts his eyes for a few seconds, just <em>breathing</em>, trying to get control of himself because fuck that’s hot.</p><p>Especially when Freddie bites his lip, concentration across his face, tipping his head up and angling his shoulders to find the right position to push a finger into himself, letting out a shaky breath as he does so.</p><p>“Fuck, you’re so fucking hot,” Brian says, mindless to everything except Freddie’s body beneath him, and he reaches down to cup Freddie’s hand with his own where it’s situated between his legs.“What does that feel like?”</p><p>“Not as good as your cock will,” Freddie replies after a second, grinning up at him.His hand brushes against Brian’s as he starts prepping himself and Brian gently squeezes, which makes Freddie falter briefly before he carries on.</p><p>Brian just watches for a few moments, suspecting that his hand holding onto Freddie’s is a hindrance more than anything but he can’t make himself let go until a belated idea occurs to him.</p><p>He seeks out the opened sachet of lube and squirts some onto his own fingers, his hand sneaking back between Freddie’s thighs but this time he feels around for where Freddie’s finger disappears into himself and slowly follows the same line with his own.</p><p>Freddie keens loudly, throwing his head back.“Oh, <em>fuck</em>, darling!”</p><p>“Is that okay?” Brian asks quickly.</p><p>“Yeah, yes, just—do it slowly, okay?” Freddie gasps, his own hand entirely still as Brian carefully pushes inward, feeling Freddie’s finger against his own and the rest of him <em>tight</em> around him and even warmer than he’d imagined.</p><p>“How many could you take?” he asks curiously, looking down at the mess of hands between them.</p><p>Freddie’s breath shudders out of him.“Depends how much time you had,” he replies.“How about you focus on fucking me before you start thinking about fisting?”</p><p>Brian snorts.“Can we...with two of mine, rather than yours?”Watching Freddie do it to himself is hot as all hell and Brian’s sure that image is going to stay with him for approximately for<em>ever</em> but he wants to feel Freddie himself, touch him and make him feel good, not watch him do it.</p><p>Freddie looks up at him.He nods.“As long as you’re slow,” he reiterates, drawing his hand back.</p><p>The tightness around Brian’s finger lessens immediately once Freddie’s is gone, though it’s still pleasant and certainly not going to fit his cock with ease just yet.He squeezes lube onto his middle finger without removing the first, some of it landing on Freddie himself and more still on the sheets below them but he can’t bring himself to care, slowly easing the second into Freddie.He keeps a careful eye on Freddie’s face while he does so but there’s no discomfort, he’s just staring up at Brian with a look on his face he can’t quite decipher.</p><p>“What?” Brian asks gently.</p><p>Freddie shakes his head.“Nothing, I just—can’t believe we’re doing this,” he says, laughing giddily.Because it’s <em>Brian</em> from <em>Smile</em> and Freddie’s been nursing a crush on him for the better part of a year and now he’s naked under him in bed and it’s sort of like a dream come true.The <em>best</em> kind of dream.</p><p>“Me either,” Brian tells him, balancing himself on his left hand so he can lean down to kiss him without removing any fingers. </p><p>Then, as soon as he starts kissing Freddie, he can’t stop.He shifts down to lean on his forearm rather than his hand and occupies himself sliding his tongue into Freddie’s mouth while half of his mind focuses on gently, gently easing his fingers around, working on relaxing Freddie as slowly as he can.</p><p><em>Too</em> slow, apparently. </p><p>“You can add another, I’m ready, come <em>on</em>,” Freddie gasps as he pulls away, desperately canting his hips into Brian. </p><p>Brian chuckles at him but adds more lube and a third finger, this one sliding in with a lot more ease than the others had, Freddie’s passage slippery wet by now and soft from Brian’s patient ministrations, even able to take the tip of his little finger when Brian plays with it absently.</p><p>“How long, do you think?” Brian asks, glancing down between them.He has no idea how to judge this sort of thing but just doing <em>this</em> to Freddie is lighting everything in him on fire, he thinks he’d happily spend an hour like it.</p><p>Freddie squeezes around him for a second and nods.“Try now,” he encourages.“I’ll tell you if it’s too much.”</p><p>Brian’s heart hammers powerfully in his chest and he nods, gently removing his hand and hastily unzipping his jeans, shoving them and his underwear down his thighs before hunting around for one of the condom packets.His hands are shaking with anticipation and he’s so slippery with lube Freddie has to sit up to help him open it, watching open-mouthed as Brian rolls it on.</p><p>“Oh, I am <em>definitely</em> blowing that later,” he says hoarsely and Brian has to loop his thumb and forefinger around the base of his cock and squeeze hard to keep himself in line long enough to <em>do</em> anything.</p><p>“No complaints here,” Brian assures him, keeping his grip on his cock as he kneels back between Freddie’s thighs and lines himself up.He meets Freddie’s eye as he begins to push the head inside.</p><p>Even though Freddie’d felt so open around his fingers, it’s immediately a more obvious squeeze, so tight around Brian’s cock, and he has to use more pressure than he’d have thought to press inward.</p><p>“Fuck, okay, fuck that’s tight—are you okay?” he asks quickly.</p><p>Freddie nods.“Fine, darling, I can take it, I’ll tell you if it’s too much,” he gasps out, arching a little bit which gives Brian a better angle.</p><p>He slips a little further in and once the head’s past the rim he lets go of himself, gripping Freddie’s thigh instead as he maintains the same steady pressure to slowly, slowly sink inside. </p><p>Freddie’s silent, mouth wide open and eyes half closed as he lies back and absorbs it, legs open and loose around Brian’s hips as he eases down until he’s as far as he can go, the passage too tight to press inward any further, though it still feels deeper than he’s ever been inside anyone before.</p><p>“Fuck, there you go,” Brian gasps against Freddie’s neck, tongue darting out to taste the sweat there.“You okay?Fred?”</p><p>Freddie groans.“It’s <em>Freddie</em>,” he gasps at him.“Give me a moment, darling.Your cock,” he adds, “is fucking <em>massive</em>.”</p><p>And Brian doesn’t think any man in the world could have contained his smirk at hearing that.“I’ll give you a minute,” he agrees smugly, feeling electrified and more turned on than he ever has in his entire life.Unable to move his hips the way he wants, Brian focuses on kissing Freddie instead, sliding his tongue along Freddie’s lower lip, the shell of his ear, gently kissing both eyelids when Freddie closes them, concentrating on relaxing and adjusting to the intrusion.</p><p>It takes longer than a minute but Brian’s not complaining, busily sucking a mark into Freddie’s neck when Freddie finally moves, both hands coming up to rest on his shoulders as he pulls his legs up and wraps them around Brian’s hips.</p><p>Even just that seems to open him up more and Brian sinks a little further inside, choking on a surprised gasp as pleasure floods through him, the position they’re now in giving him more leverage than he had before.</p><p>“Ready?”</p><p>Freddie nods and Brian slides one hand under his neck to angle his head up into another kiss, leaning on both elbows as he draws his hips back and slowly rocks forward, chasing the lazy pleasure of it as he slides back and forth, testing how deeply he can push each time.</p><p>Freddie’s immediately responsive, groaning low in his throat as Brian moves, nails digging into his shoulders.It urges Brian on, knocking his hips into Freddie’s a little more roughly and he’s rewarded by an even louder moan, the hottest sound he’s ever heard, and Brian has to duck his head down to press his forehead into Freddie’s shoulder to gather himself.</p><p>“Don’t stop!” Freddie gasps at him, tipping his hips upward, and Brian groans, sinking his teeth into Freddie’s shoulder without thinking about it.</p><p>Freddie swears loudly, clutching at him, desperately trying to roll his hips and make Brian move while Brian tries to maintain some control over himself for just a <em>few</em> more minutes.</p><p>“Fuck, fuck, hang on a second Freddie,” he mutters, pressing into him hard to try and at least pin his hips so he can catch a breath.</p><p>“What’s the matter?” Freddie asks worriedly. </p><p>Brian can’t help but laugh.“Nothing’s the <em>matter</em>,” he assures him, kissing the shoulder he just bit.“Just don’t wanna come yet.Sorry about that,” he says quickly, laving his tongue over the mark, “got carried away.”</p><p>“Trust me, it’s totally fine,” Freddie says, quite certain he’s left scratches on Brian’s back anyway.He likes the idea of wearing little reminders of today under his clothes and thinks he’d be quite happy for Brian to litter him with them if he had a mind to.“Can you actually fuck me now, darling?”</p><p>“Cheeky,” Brian mutters, but snaps his hips without warning.He knows he doesn’t have long; he’s too into Freddie, too taken by the <em>newness</em> of all this, of having Freddie’s cock trapped between their bellies, of hearing Freddie’s voice moan and gasp, seeing <em>Freddie’s</em> long lashes fanned out over his cheeks as he opens his mouth wide, tips his head back so his throat is one long, gorgeous line.</p><p>No, he’s not going to last long at all, but he sits up onto his knees and grabs Freddie’s arse in both hands, pulling him into him and thrusting as hard as he can manage while sweat drips down his back and he nearly bites through his own lip, praying the neighbours aren’t in because Freddie is <em>loud</em> and it’s so hot there’s not a chance in hell Brian’s going to try and get him to quiet down.</p><p>Freddie can’t reach his shoulders from his position on his back any more but his nails catch Brian’s thigh as he grabs at him, grabs for anything to ground himself, and strokes his cock with his other hand, hard and fast.</p><p>Brian matches the movements, watching him, holding his breath as his orgasm builds inside him.He keeps as steady a rhythm as he can manage until it crests and rolls through him, takes over his entire body in a wave of molten heat and then he just thrusts messily, mindlessly, just chases it, trying to hold onto it as his cock pulses and Freddie squeezes around him, his heels pressing insistently against Brian’s arse as he nearly reaches his own peak.</p><p>Brian interrupts him at the last moment, pulling Freddie’s hand away from himself and replacing it with his own, trying to stay buried inside him even though his cock is spent and stroking Freddie with one big hand, squeezing him just this side of roughly.</p><p>Freddie moans and arches his back so much Brian’s cock nearly slips out of him and Brian has to press close again, his hand slippery with Freddie’s pre-come.</p><p>“Come on,” Brian gasps out, shoving his hips forward, sure he could get hard again in a few minutes if they kept this up.“Come on, baby.”</p><p>“Oh, <em>fuck</em>, how have you not done this before?” Freddie demands, his face screwed up all tight and adorable until he gives out a shaky breath, mouth wide and helpless as he comes all over Brian’s hand.Brian grins, more pleased with himself than he ever has been before, but doesn’t stop, using the added wetness of Freddie’s release to smooth the way, making sure he’s covered in it, continuing to rub it in until Freddie cries out and has to grab his wrist to stop him because it’s too much.</p><p>“Fuck,” Freddie whispers hoarsely as Brian finally lets him go and pulls his hips back, sliding free of the condom and tying it off.</p><p>“Fuck,” Brian agrees, promptly collapsing on top of him.They’re both sticky and too hot, damp all over.The air in the room is thick with sweat and sex and the windows need to be opened but Brian couldn’t care less about any of that just then.All he cares about is Freddie, trailing his lips over his nose and cheeks as he gives them both time for their hearts to calm down and breathing to return to normal.</p><p>“I don’t think I can <em>move</em> after that, darling,” Freddie says eventually, grinning hard up at the ceiling.</p><p>“Good,” Brian says decisively, sliding both arms around Freddie’s waist and finally rolling off to his side.“You’ll have to stay here with me forever and we’ll just do that, over and over, until the bed breaks.”</p><p>“Or until Roger’s mother comes home.”</p><p>“She won’t mind,” Brian insists, so seriously it gives Freddie an immediate fit of the giggles.“We can pay her some rent for the room,” Brian adds, laughing himself because Freddie’s amusement is contagious. </p><p>Freddie hums, still chuckling.“And after the bed breaks?”</p><p>“Then I’ll take you home and we can break <em>my</em> bed.”</p><p>Freddie tuts at him.“You’re a public menace, May, all this property destruction.”</p><p>“<em>You’re</em> the menace,” Brian retorts, kissing down his shoulder.“How am I supposed to resist you?It’s all your fault.”</p><p>“It’s definitely yours,” Freddie says, closing his eyes and smiling to himself, tipping his head so Brian has better access to his neck as he continues kissing him. </p><p>Brian hums against his skin before hoisting himself up onto his elbow so he can reach Freddie’s mouth and kiss him there, gently, before he just stares down at him, smiling softly.</p><p>“What?” Freddie asks eventually, flushing as he grows self-conscious.</p><p>“Nothing,” Brian smiles.“I just like you, is all.”He feels like he finally knows what all the songs are about and it’s just as good as they all made it seem, <em>better</em> in fact.He knows they haven’t known each other long but when he feels like <em>this</em> what does that matter?It’s real.It’s everything.</p><p>Freddie beams and he really is the most beautiful thing Brian’s ever seen.“Well,” he says conspiratorially, his fingers running gently along Brian’s shoulders, just relishing being able to <em>touch</em> and lie together like this, like there’s nobody else in the whole world. “As it happens, darling, I quite like you, too.”</p><p>Actually, Freddie rather thinks he might be in love. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
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